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Cleavage Filtered

AugustInTransit avatar
Beach Lover
1,159 views
:wave: Tired of the same old boring Planter's Assorted Nuts?

Well, try something new! Cleavage Filtered Dee's Assorted Nuts ensure that your nuts are dropped through the cleavage of some hot chick on their way to the container. :rolling:

Think I'm kidding?

My friend found Dee's Nuts a few days ago and called in for an order (as a joke for his brother). Apparently, these nuts are so popular that the distribution center that opened in the Big Bend area two months ago is sold out! This idea was so hysterical to my friend, he offered to work as a sales rep for the company.

If you want to try any, just tell me and Jeremy will be able to get them for you at a cheaper price than the website.

http://www.deesassortednuts.com/

Replies

35
Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#2
I wonder if they need an "Inspector" to insure that the cleavage doesn't get clogged?

If they need to market the nuts to the gals, maybe they can use this guy's cleavage:



I can hear the ladies who thought they had large thighs...

For a Cigar Dinner, I once hired a couple of Cigar makers to come to the party and demonstrate Cigar rolling. They were telling me that the thing that makes Cuban cigars taste so good (their words, not mine) was that the Cuban ladies roll them on their thighs. I have a feeling they were pulling my leg, but you never know.
30A Skunkape avatar
Skunky
#3
:puke:
BeachSiO2 avatar
Beach Fanatic
#4
I'm only an hour from HQ, sounds like I need to make a road trip. :leaving:
Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#5
Can we see a photo of "Dee?"

This is my vision of Dee:





... but this is probably more realistic:
BeachSiO2 avatar
Beach Fanatic
#6
Actually, it is probably....



Wasn't it Snoop Dog who coined the phrase, "Dees Nuts?"
greenroomsurfer avatar
Beach Fanatic
#7
Who's moderating the moderator's?:idontno:
Alicia Leonard avatar
SoWal Insider
#8
Who's moderating the moderator's?:idontno:

On the next episode of Moderators gone wild...............:biggrin:
RiverOtter avatar
got any pics?
#9
Why don't I have these great ideas :angry:
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#10
Why don't I have these great ideas :angry:

I don't think OMB filtered nuts would be a big seller?:idontno:
Ocean Lover avatar
bean
#11
I don't think OMB filtered nuts would be a big seller?:idontno:


:lol:Oh man, the visual.
Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#12
Why don't I have these great ideas :angry:

I'll give you this idea, and if you make any money on it, give me 10% of the profits.

"Plumber's Crack-Filtered Chocolate Nuts"
scooterbug44 avatar
SoWal Expert
#13
How is advertising and guaranteeing that every piece of your food product has touched a stranger's bare skin okay w/ the Health Department? :idontno:
RiverOtter avatar
got any pics?
#14
I don't think OMB filtered nuts would be a big seller?:idontno:

I'll give you this idea, and if you make any money on it, give me 10% of the profits.

"Plumber's Crack-Filtered Chocolate Nuts"

:puke:
Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#15
How is advertising and guaranteeing that every piece of your food product has touched a stranger's bare skin okay w/ the Health Department? :idontno:

Can't be any worse that the All-You-Can-Eat Lunch Buffets at the strip clubs, I've heard advertised on the radio, when living outside of Atlanta.
scooterbug44 avatar
SoWal Expert
#16
I bow to your far superior knowledge of strips clubs, buffets, and their germs! ;-)
Alicia Leonard avatar
SoWal Insider
#17
I don't think OMB filtered nuts would be a big seller?:idontno:

Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#18
I bow to your far superior knowledge of strips clubs, buffets, and their germs! ;-)

I don't have that intimate knowledge which you suggest. I've always subscribed to not ordering chicken at a steak house, and I'm not about to order the buffet at a strip club, though I might consider ordering the cleavage-filtered vodka shots -- the alcohol kills the germs. ;-)
AugustInTransit avatar
Beach LoverAuthor
#19
I'm sure they don't actually filter all of them. It's just a stunt, I'd assume. Cuz they would be in a little bit of trouble through the FDA. :idontno:
Smiling JOe avatar
SoWal Expert
#20
If Dee is too endowed, there may only be a few nuts in each package. I'm beginning to wonder if the nuts she is selling are the ones she drops while eating them.
CPort avatar
Beach Fanatic
#21
Can't be any worse that the All-You-Can-Eat Lunch Buffets at the strip clubs, I've heard advertised on the radio, when living outside of Atlanta.
:yikes:gross!
ASH avatar
Beach Fanatic
#22
I bit and went to the website to see what was there. They have a statement that they apparently DID get into troble for how the used to process the nuts and now they can only "filter" nuts still in the shell "for health reasons".
Just a slick marketing gimmick.
In the real world, the filters were probably anyone willing to do the dirty work for $6 an hour. 95 years old... homeless... diseased.
Don't let the mind wander much as it will ruin the appetite. :lol:
Matt J avatar
SWGB
#23


Dateline investigates and discovers the truth behind Dee's Nuts.

Our cameras went undercover and when you see the production line of Dee's Nuts you may not be as inclined to purchase.

AugustInTransit avatar
Beach LoverAuthor
#24
1. Thanks, Ash, for making me not want to eat ever again.

2. SWGB, thanks for making me want to dig my eyes out.

You people just like to ruin my apatite. :bang:
Miss Kitty avatar
Meow
#25
1. Thanks, Ash, for making me not want to eat ever again.

2. SWGB, thanks for making me want to dig my eyes out.

You people just like to ruin my apatite. :bang:

:lolabove:...you started it!
JB avatar
Beach Fanatic
#26
The photos in this thread (save one) have left me permanently emotionally scarred. I'm going to sue you all.

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