Help!

Okay here it goes. You all know we have an adorable little boy that you have seen pictures of.
The problem is, he's almost 2 and he still wakes up every night at about 11 and refuses to sleep in his bed. We asked the doctor what to do and he said to let him scream for about ten minutes and then go tell him hat "everything's okay" and let him scream for another ten minutes and repeat until he's sleep. But this kid will not give up. He can shake the windows in the house when he screams.

We usually give in at about 2 or 3 am and put him in the bed with us so we can try to get some sleep. I'm sure you all are familiar with how a 2 year old sleeps in the bed with you - sideways. His head is usually digging into my ribcage and his feet are kicking Mama in the side of the head.

Peapod, you have 4 so I know you have an answer to this one....

I'm no Peapod, but I think earplugs are better than a helmet.

Are your neighbors so close that he will wake them up? If not then you will just have to bite the bullet. Let him scream. If he is in a bed, not a crib, make sure there is a gate there so he can't run out of the room. Eventually he will go back into his bed and sleep. It may take a few days, it may take a week, but IMO he is manipulating you. I have a 2 year old and I know how they can be. Go in every 10 minutes at first to reassure him, but extend the time to 15, then 20. If you don't nip this in the bud, it will be a nightmare if little Landlocked No. 2 comes along.

I feel for you LL! TFT is right, but I was not good at that advice. I did use earplugs. I just can't stand crying! When Will was a baby, I would sit outside and cry while he was crying it out.

We have tried to just let him scream it out in the past and have had some success with it. The problem is that a couple weeks back, we were letting him cry and she went in there a couple hours later and he had thrown up in the bed.

That'll make a new mom feel like crap.

We have tried to just let him scream it out in the past and have had some success with it. The problem is that a couple weeks back, we were letting him cry and she went in there a couple hours later and he had thrown up in the bed. That'll make a new mom feel like crap.

I hope I didn't sound glib or like it was easy. And yes, we have had this issue too but not to that extreme. I think every parent does. Do you think he got so worked up that he threw up because he was scared? Have you tried a night light? That may help. If he was sick, I am guilty of being skittish after a bout of illness and checking when mine cries in the middle of the night, and then realizing I've been had. Usually it takes a couple of days afterward to get back into the routine.

Bottom line though, it is your job to teach him to sleep on his own. You will be doing him a big favor. And yourselves too. But this is a tough age. It is hard to reason with them. It is a good thing they are cute.

Double L, I did not have this problem with my two but my neighbor is having to deal with that right now. She has tried a radio in her daughters room playing very soft music, this has helped her daughter calm down and put herself back to sleep. My only advice to you is stay strong, you are the parent and as hard as it is to do, you have to let the little guy know that you and mommy are the boss, when you say stay in bed and go to sleep he has to know that you mean business. If you go get him every time and put him in bed with you, then he will know no matter how long he screams and cries mom and dad will eventually come get me. good luck!!! I feel for you, I really do......sometimes being a parent is so hard!!!

I hope I didn't sound glib or like it was easy. And yes, we have had this issue too but not to that extreme. I think every parent does. Do you think he got so worked up that he threw up because he was scared? Have you tried a night light? That may help. If he was sick, I am guilty of being skittish after a bout of illness and checking when mine cries in the middle of the night, and then realizing I've been had. Usually it takes a couple of days afterward to get back into the routine.

Bottom line though, it is your job to teach him to sleep on his own. You will be doing him a big favor. And yourselves too. But this is a tough age. It is hard to reason with them. It is a good thing they are cute.

He apparently had a stomach virus, which he then gave to me, which is why I barfed all over the place at Publix.

We have tried to just let him scream it out in the past and have had some success with it. The problem is that a couple weeks back, we were letting him cry and she went in there a couple hours later and he had thrown up in the bed.

That'll make a new mom feel like crap.

My daughter used to do this. It is soooo hard. But I think it's also another way of manipulating. I feel for you. I made the mistake of laying down with her until she fell asleep. Very bad idea...lasted for years.

He apparently had a stomach virus, which he then gave to me, which is why I barfed all over the place at Publix.

Oh that's right. You need sleep. This week I would say you and your wife need to take turns being strong. Whoever is most worn out should sleep on the couch tonight. The other one has earplug duty. Then tomorrow night, switch. LL we are rooting for you. You can do it!!! :clap_1:

Wow, tough situation. We went through the "let them cry" phase when they were babies (less than 6 months old.) It was tough then, but we all got through it. Can't imagine trying to use that technique with a 2 year old. Seems to me there has to be a better way to help a toddler sleep through the night. The nightlight idea may be a good one. We have a light in my kids' room that's shaped like a crescent moon - they find it really comforting. I've seen others shaped like a star with holes in it that make stars reflect on the ceiling. You also might want to play some soft music in his room.

My daughter used to do this. It is soooo hard. But I think it's also another way of manipulating. I feel for you. I made the mistake of laying down with her until she fell asleep. Very bad idea...lasted for years.

That's just great.

There goes mommy and daddy time!

LL, are you familiar with Dr. John Rosemond? He has a parenting advice column in most major newspapers. The question you asked is one that gets asked an awfully lot (see? you're not alone!). You might want to check his website, www.rosemond.com to see if you can get some more insight. I think there's a parent-to-parent question and answer board on it.

Hang in there. Parenting is one tough job sometimes. Entirely worth it, though.

Mine is a totallly different response than the others, so don't blast me for my opinion. Let the child sleep on a pallet by the bed. Then work him out of the room.. Both of my girls slept with us, and we DID find time for us :clap_1:. I asked a psychologist friend about it, and her response was that in many countries children sleeping with parents is normal and not uncommon. In our country it is taboo. We both worked, and losing a hour or two of sleep over crying was just not worth it. Both girls left of their own free will. I think back and realize (with both of them gone) that it was not so bad. They are very secure and self confident. Do what you need to do to survive.

I am not a parent, but I think TooFarTampa is dead-on in post number 2. You must teach your kids to be independent thinkers. As a parent it can be difficult to let go. You will probably cry as much as your kid while teaching him/her this. You have to break the kid of these co-dependent tendencies. If not, when the kid grows up, he/she will have more problems rooting back to these formative years.

If you have never seen the tv show, I think it is called Super Nanny, you should. I've seen it only a handful of times, and 80% of the time, it envolves your scenario. You can see the strain that is caused by correcting this behavior, but you can also see the relief that quickly follows. You can teach your kids how you do things or you can allow them to teach you how they will do things. The process is difficult, yet rewarding x 100.

Peapod, you have 4 so I know you have an answer to this one....

Ugh, don't ask me, I'm no expert on anything!
What I have found is that kids are all so different. There are all sorts of approaches out there about what's supposed to work, which techniques are most effective, yada, yada, yada. In the end, I honestly think it comes down to the individual child's personality and what you as a parent can tolerate.
Lots of people believe in the cry it out (CIO) technique, but there are parents who honestly can't deal with that. If, then, bringing Little Man into your bed calms him down and allows you to get some sleep, then that's what works for you. Although it sounds like your three-in-the-bed thing isn't working too well for the Big People.
I had three great sleepers and now have one not-so-good sleeper. I've done it all trying to get him to sleep in his own bed--sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I'm noticing, though, as he's beginning to feel more independent as an awake person, he's more willing to sleep in his own bed. If I were you, I would continue to try to encourage him to stay in his own bed and go in and soothe him every few minutes, then walk out. But, if this doesn't work, and/or the crying is too much to take, don't feel like a failure! This, too, shall pass. And I'm told one day you'll miss the fact that he ever wanted to snuggle in the first place...

If you have never seen the tv show, I think it is called Super Nanny, you should. I've seen it only a handful of times, and 80% of the time, it envolves your scenario. You can see the strain that is caused by correcting this behavior, but you can also see the relief that quickly follows. You can teach your kids how you do things or you can allow them to teach you how they will do things. The process is difficult, yet rewarding x 100.

She definitely helps parents, and I love the way she empowers them; that's such a change for most of the parents on the show. But I have noticed that with most of the families on there, they are usually not struggling merely with sleep issues; the children are often out of control and manipulative in general. The parents are needing to be taught how to be in charge of the household overall.

She definitely helps parents, and I love the way she empowers them; that's such a change for most of the parents on the show. But I have noticed that with most of the families on there, they are usually not struggling merely with sleep issues; the children are often out of control and manipulative in general. The parents are needing to be taught how to be in charge of the household overall.

That show is a great form of birth control. Those are devil children

That show is a great form of birth control. Those are devil children

I have an idea for a rental kid program which will allow parents to get paid for someone to baby sit. The want-to-be-parents rent a kid (babysitting) for a half day at a time to be sure a baby is really what they want. You could rent your kids out at any age up to about 10 years of age. The want-to-be-parents will get to see all sides of the kid, not just the smiling faces, but the stinky diapers, too. Talk about birth control. I have a feeling the idea would be a failure if put into reality, but it is fun to think.

I have an idea for a rental kid program which will allow parents to get paid for someone to baby sit. The want-to-be-parents rent a kid (babysitting) for a half day at a time to be sure a baby is really what they want. You could rent your kids out at any age up to about 10 years of age. The want-to-be-parents will get to see all sides of the kid, not just the smiling faces, but the stinky diapers, too. Talk about birth control. I have a feeling the idea would be a failure if put into reality, but it is fun to think.

That might work, if not for the "MY kid won't be like that" syndrome. ;-)

I'm with peapod on this. Whatever you can live with, so be it. We never had trouble with ours when he was in the baby bed but once he went to the big boy's bed, then it was a different story. He became free to roam during the night, it was musical beds around our house for a while. I never knew where I was going to wake up. But don't fret, he doesn't do this anymore, he's 18. Now we have a dog that is afraid of thunder and he jumps in bed with us.

Don't tell me that sweet little boy is giving you trouble!!! I remember those days! You'll make it through them, I promise. My son was the one who did the same thing to us. His doctor told us to use the crying method too! I just couldn't handle it. (the crying and the lack of sleep/I was pregnant too) He could outlast the best of them!! He ended up sleeping with us most of the time until he was 4 or I would snuggle him in his bed until he fell asleep (he would still end up in our bed). Guess I was just a softy when it came down to it!! I'm like jdarg, It made me cry to see him crying so hard. Good luck on whatever you decide. Who ever said it was easy to be a parent!

I went through the same thing with my now 12 year old. It was hard, but I knew that for his sake he needed to learn to fall asleep on his own. I decided one night that this was the night. I put him to bed, and he screamed and cried, I waited 5 minutes then went in to check on him. I did not pick him up, I told him everything was fine and then left the room. He screamed, 10 more minutes, and then I went in again. Repeated the same thing until after 25 minutes, he was fast asleep on his own. This went on for 3 nights, and then like magic he never screamed again, and fell asleep on his own from then on. All kids are different and what works for some does not work for others. You and your wife have to follow your hearts and minds on how to overcome this. And for sure don't feel like a failure if you can't get through it. It is so hard to listen to them scream, but as someone else said. This too shall pass. I would cry right along with him in the living room, it was hard for me as well, and it will be for you and your wife. But you will get through it. Good Luck, LL. Now my 12 year old never wants to get out of the bed....it all works out in the end.

Thanks for the advice folks. One thing that keeps biting us is that once we get him to sleep in his bed, he'll get a cold or something where we need to keep a close eye on him. So we wind up starting all over again. We'll figure it out. Where can I find those earplugs?

Otter #1 we let scream it out. Man that was one of the worst nights I can remember but it did work. Otter #2 was / is a great sleeper. If they have had a nightmare or we are experiencing a bad storm they will crawl in bed with us and we don't mind at all. But that is very rare.

Otter #1 we let scream it out. Man that was one of the worst nights I can remember but it did work. Otter #2 was / is a great sleeper. If they have had a nightmare or we are experiencing a bad storm they will crawl in bed with us and we don't mind at all. But that is very rare.

Mabye our #2 will be a better sleeper.