I have spoken to various fellows who bring up a "What Would You Do?" scenario regarding seeing a neighbor physically beat his wife.
"What Would You Do?"
Would you interfere to stop him, possibly getting into a fight yourself, risking your own skin - POSSIBLY running the risk that SHE WOULD TURN ON YOU, too?
Or would you leave it alone and let her deal with the fact that she hitched up with such a monster?
There was a time when there was no 'question' - I'd jump in there to save the day, but then I actually witnessed another guy do the same only to have the battered and bloody woman attack him to defend her abusive man. That turned out badly because he wound up having to kick both their butts. Lo and behold, a short time later, she was eating fist sandwiches again, and nobody stepped in to help her.
Not long after that, me and some of the fellas were hanging at my crib and a young lady who lived a few doors down from me was being beaten out front of my door (as per a regular schedule of weekly abuse) by her military boyfriend. People had called the cops in the past but she kept bringing the guy back into her life, so people stopped calling the cops.
I'd had a few and I was fed up with it, so I went 'half way' and yelled to the guy to stop messing up my good time (of course, what I was really telling him to do was stop beating the woman, but used my party as the 'cover' excuse). He glared at me and ordered her down to her place where we could hear her screaming and crying in the distance as he continued his attack.
Next thing ya know me, my roomie, and the rest of the fellows were doing a full-force entry into her crib through the door and front window to beat that coward down like a dog. It's like we were possessed. He ran out the door yelling like a little girl with no shirt or shoes in the cold - hauling it down the street screaming for his life. I told her that if he comes back, then she would be on her own.
Strangely, he never came back.
Despite what I told her, we were hoping he would give it one more shot, because we were on the lookout for a couple weeks, just itching to beat the crap out of him.
Now, what does this have to do with Libya.
Hmmmmm....
It's the QUESTION, really.
What would you do if your neighbor was beating his wife who is desperate to be free from his monstrous oppression?
Maybe you wouldn't go in unilaterally - even though you might have the firepower. You might have condemnation raining down on you, that it is "none of your business." That's cuz the COMMUNITY is allowing the injustice to happen.
Maybe you take a stand and remind your community of what's right, and then you and the other neighbors just get together and decide that kind of behavior is not acceptable, and you all go in and straighten things out, making things better for the whole community.
Or maybe you just sit there and listen to the screaming and watch the blood run until they finally cart her off in an ambulance to have the funeral a few days later.
What Would You Do?
MMF, This analogy poses excellent food-for- thought as to the definitions of "
neighbor", "
proximity", and
"justification".
FBB describes the case of
neighbor being 'one with something you want/need to get' (and what, if anything, you're willing to give in return for that something).
Mango describes a far away coalition-of
-neighbors banding together in
neighborly fashion to manipulate hungry-customer
-neighbors. (Scooterbug might also describe this sort of good-
neighbor as walmrK!).
My personal definition of
neighbor becomes increasingly smaller, tighter, and closer to home... i.e. in close enough proximity to be looked directly in the eye on a regular basis. My own dear Mother is
not my neighbor due to our living 1100 miles apart.
The technological ability to locate someone 6000 miles away on google maps or spot Mars through a telescope does not qualify as
neighbor... no more than some 798th-crak-book-friend-uva-friend has the ability to truly be a 'friend'.
I'm undoubtedly getting old, cynical, and cranky... but IMHO the 'language' associated with globalization de-volved into the downright ridonkulous, superficial, and disingenuous.
Countries and people 1/2 way around the world are not my neighbors, not my friends, and not my family. I accept no responsibility for/to them. Those countries have "a thing" to sell and they have the right to get as much $ for it as their customers continue to pay. If, as customers, we disagree with their business philosophy then it is a peaceful choice to stop buying their products... but NOT the right to sit in THEIR parking lot, shooting missiles at them because we don't like how they calculate their markup, wear their clothes, or sweeten their tea.
So WHAT WOULD I DO (Strive To Do)?
*Want only what I have or am personally capable of creating and willing to sustain.
*Accept that I'm human and my abilities are proximally finite.
*Understand and honor the boundaries of my own finite capacities.
*Try always to: "
Do unto others..."
'cuz dam-straight with all the trouble I have keeping 'my own house' in order, I certainly have no right to force change on anybody else's 'housekeeping' habits.