I'm a northerner...but what would you do?

That sounds fun! How do I become a member of your family?
Seriously, though.. did you send out written invitations? If so, did you specifically request an RSVP, with the number/address, and give a date by which to respond? Sadly, for some people that's what it takes, and for some that's not even enough.
It sounds like people who have been coming to this party every year for 20 years assume that you already know they will be there. I didn't RSVP to my sister's wedding, since I was in the bridal party..

What's even worse than overlooked RSVPs is a lack of response on a gift. It drives me nuts, because I sometimes don't even know whether they received it or not. I once waited over a year to find out whether a cousin had received a wedding gift of an entire setting of her sterling silver flatware! (And then I suspect that her mother ended up writing the note.) I have stopped sending gifts to family members who never can be bothered to send the simplest "thank you" or phone, under the assumption that the gift couldn't have meant much to them. I don't hold it against them, but save my energy.

When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future! :(

What's even worse than overlooked RSVPs is a lack of response on a gift. It drives me nuts, because I sometimes don't even know whether they received it or not. I once waited over a year to find out whether a cousin had received a wedding gift of an entire setting of her sterling silver flatware! (And then I suspect that her mother ended up writing the note.) I have stopped sending gifts to family members who never can be bothered to send the simplest "thank you" or phone, under the assumption that the gift couldn't have meant much to them. I don't hold it against them, but save my energy.

When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future! :(

OMG Donna - my Mother did the same thing with us!! ...and it has stuck with us - to this day, I and my siblings are diligent about our thank you's ;-)

Whitesands: I think you've struck a chord here :clap_1:

OMG Donna - my Mother did the same thing with us!! ...and it has stuck with us - to this day, I and my siblings are diligent about our thank you's ;-)

Whitesands: I think you've struck a chord here :clap_1:

Ditto. I have stress attacks until all thank yous are written. For a long time, Will's handwriting was terrible, so I made him type his thank yous, print on cute paper, and sign them. Now he has to write them. Bdarg has a niece and nephew that have never acknowledged Christmas or graduation gifts (now they are in high school and college). I am making good on my threat of "no gifts" this year- I have had enough of their bad manners!:bang:

lolol...oh Donna and Unplugged, I think our Moms must have had the same thank you note "training manual". It sounds so familiar...my resistance to writing them too Donna...and the punishment of not be able to use the gift until the obligatory thank you had been penned...lol...My Mom would give us a "template" to follow when writing. It went something like this:

1. Thank the sender for the (name of gift)...(except if it is money...if it is money, explain what you plan to purchase with the generous gift of cash);

2. Describe how you will enjoy using, wearing, eating, playing, etc., etc. the gift and how much you appreciate it; and

3. End by thanking the sender for being so thoughtful.

Something like that, as I recall. I also recall my mother thinking that one should not send cash but think of something appropriate to purchase. Consequently, I grew up thinking you had to be a considerate "gifter" and search for just the perfect thing.

Today, due to the fact of not having received more than just a couple of thank you notes, we practically always gift with a cheque (for weddings and the like). At least that way, we always know that the gift was received and, we assume, appreciated, once it has cleared our bank.

amylouky, I e-mailed the two key people in my husband's family, as usual, telling them the situation and asking them to get in touch with their family members and to please let me know their numbers. This year, we're trying a new caterer who charges according to the number we give him, not the number who actually attend/eat, so I really do need a head count quite soon. I'll be picking up the phone later this week to check personally with several people.

Unplugged, I believe I have struck a chord too...lolol...I think for too long, we've not been talking about the elephant in the room! I can actually feel my blood pressure lowering...lolol This is better than a massage!

Thanks for all the stories and reassurances too...

What's even worse than overlooked RSVPs is a lack of response on a gift. It drives me nuts, because I sometimes don't even know whether they received it or not. I once waited over a year to find out whether a cousin had received a wedding gift of an entire setting of her sterling silver flatware! (And then I suspect that her mother ended up writing the note.) I have stopped sending gifts to family members who never can be bothered to send the simplest "thank you" or phone, under the assumption that the gift couldn't have meant much to them. I don't hold it against them, but save my energy.

When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future! :(

A-freaking-MEN!! I will admit that I'm not always able to get a thank you out immediately, but it will go out. I have people in my family that we have sent gifts to for their children, weddings, etc--never heard anything from them, NOR did we ever receive anything from them for our wedding, or baby. . .

Ditto. I have stress attacks until all thank yous are written. For a long time, Will's handwriting was terrible, so I made him type his thank yous, print on cute paper, and sign them. Now he has to write them. Bdarg has a niece and nephew that have never acknowledged Christmas or graduation gifts (now they are in high school and college). I am making good on my threat of "no gifts" this year- I have had enough of their bad manners!:bang:

I wish I had started this a long time ago...too late now, I fear...:(

I wish I had started this a long time ago...too late now, I fear...:(

Ditto, allifunn. I wish I could be so organized, maybe start with something simple like remembering to bring the directions when I'm driving. Or maybe something more simple like remembering where I'm supposed to meet someone. :floor: Do I need therapy :idontno: .

I can vouch for the business of our lives these days...... but not responding in a timely manner is just plain rude! Yes or no... how hard is that?? To Party or not to party.... I ask you, how hard is that!? :cool:

Ditto, allifunn. I wish I could be so organized, maybe start with something simple like remembering to bring the directions when I'm driving. Or maybe something more simple like remembering where I'm supposed to meet someone. :floor: Do I need therapy :idontno: .

:floor: :floor:

:floor: :floor:

COS, What's funny is that I did both of those things with Allifunn and Audie. Drove right past Audie and called her 15 minutes down the road to ask her why she wasn't there :floor: sometimes I just leave my brain somewhere else.

COS, What's funny is that I did both of those things with Allifunn and Audie. Drove right past Audie and called her 15 minutes down the road to ask her why she wasn't there :floor: sometimes I just leave my brain somewhere else.

I have done this too!!! :floor: I have left the house and in my mind I am sure I know where I'm going just to find out that I don't really know where I'm going... and where do you think the invitation is with the address and numbers.............on the kitchen table!! I will never do that again!!!!!! Knock on wood! 😀

I have done this too!!! :floor: I have left the house and in my mind I am sure I know where I'm going just to find out that I don't really know where I'm going... and where do you think the invitation is with the address and numbers.............on the kitchen table!! I will never do that again!!!!!! Knock on wood! 😀

I do it over and over again. And my neighbor's think I'm a moron because everytime I leave the house, I come back 3 times over the next 5 minutes for all the stuff I forgot. I would think it was age but I've been like that since I was 20!

I do it over and over again. And my neighbor's think I'm a moron because everytime I leave the house, I come back 3 times over the next 5 minutes for all the stuff I forgot. I would think it was age but I've been like that since I was 20!

Cork! That is too funny!!! I sometimes get in my car (front entry to my house), start the car, get out, go back in the house to get something, come back out, get in my car, shut the garage, start backing out, pull back in, open the garage, go in the house to get something........well, you get the picture!!!:floor: I have even driven down my street a few houses, then figured out that I forgot something and just backed up to my driveway to get what I forgot! I think we are ok!!!:rolling: It must be that we have alot on our minds!!!! WE are busy women!!!!!