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An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

Replies

819
Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#777
I don't really have a Funny. per se, but I do have two words: Jimmy Carr. He is a stand up comedian who seems to be everywhere these days. His stuff is really "edgy", extremely rude, and touches on every taboo in the book, but he is also very smart, clever, and extremely funny. He warns you ahead of time that you are in for a wild, rough ride, and then he delivers.
Matt J avatar
SWGB
#778
I don't really have a Funny. per se, but I do have two words: Jimmy Carr. He is a stand up comedian who seems to be everywhere these days. His stuff is really "edgy", extremely rude, and touches on every taboo in the book, but he is also very smart, clever, and extremely funny. He warns you ahead of time that you are in for a wild, rough ride, and then he delivers.

I feel like if you don't go into a comedy club with an open mind you're going to have a bad time.
Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#7801
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Will B avatar
Moderator
#781
I don't really have a Funny. per se, but I do have two words: Jimmy Carr. He is a stand up comedian who seems to be everywhere these days. His stuff is really "edgy", extremely rude, and touches on every taboo in the book, but he is also very smart, clever, and extremely funny. He warns you ahead of time that you are in for a wild, rough ride, and then he delivers.
Love his stuff. He is the master of the "gotcha". A good sized chunk of his shows is dealing with hecklers. It's part of his shtick, and he is masterful at it.

Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#7821
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Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#7841
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Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#786
:nono: Not allowed to use the C words in Florida
Chit! I forgot. :doh:
PoppaJ avatar
SoWal Insider
#789
Watching hillbillies who have never owned a passport vowing to boycott France will never stop being funny. - JoeMyGod
Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#7901
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Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#7911
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Matt J avatar
SWGB
#7951
Yes, that's a real canceled check.1000002581.png

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