Another Friday Funny

[kathydwells]

I couldn't resist this one.

Butt Measurements

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day, and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.." With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-a#@ grill for one little Weenie?"

 

[Sheila]

This one is cute! I cleaned it up a tad! Enjoy your week in paradise and drink a frosty one for me! :clap_1:

A Touching Story - must read through to end......about the bond formed
between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want
to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the
human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the activity going on next-door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of the
gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and
lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her
feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented h
with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar
pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings
account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay
check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked
all last week with a crew building a house.

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the
house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those useless b@$%&*ds at Home
Depot ever bring us the f#%*in' drywall."

 

[kathydwells]

This one is cute! I cleaned it up a tad! Enjoy your week in paradise and drink a frosty one for me! :clap_1:

A Touching Story - must read through to end......about the bond formed
between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want
to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the
human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the activity going on next-door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of the
gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and
lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her
feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented h
with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar
pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings
account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay
check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked
all last week with a crew building a house.

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the
house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those useless b@$%&*ds at Home
Depot ever bring us the f#%*in' drywall."

:rofl: LMAO....I love it!!! I will drink a frosty one for you!!!!!

 

[Sheila]

It's one of my all time favorites. Glad you enjoyed it! Have a safe trip and tell us all about it week after next.

It will probably be Sept. or Oct, before we are back. Bookings were very good this season. :clap_1:

 

[seagrovelover]

Good one Kathy!!!!