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Need some input/advice/wisdom

peapod1980 avatar
percy
1,768 views
I have a group of friends from all parts of the country who keep in touch via an email loop. Every year at Christmas, we do Secret Santa gifts. This year we delayed it with a target date of New Year's. So, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting... Finally I ask for the name of my Santa and immediately know I'm screwed. The person who drew me never sent a gift to her "giftee" last year, and also last year claimed that she never received the gift that was sent to her, though the Santa Girl had proof she mailed the package. I'm irritated, she's never been called on any of this, what do I do?

Replies

46
organicmama avatar
Beach Fanatic
#27
Mail her a really nice note and thank her for the Ipod she gave you. You'll get the message across and she just won't know what to do with that. It might get kind of humorous amongst the group.

I vote for this one & if it does work, follow Miss Kitty's guidelines. :floor:

I can throw in a dirty diaper for Mango's suggestion, if you'd like. :twisted:
organicmama avatar
Beach Fanatic
#28
WWSM do? Write or call her, tell her you realize she did not send a gift again this year. Explain that you were very disappointed and ask her not to put her name in next year so that someone else is not disappointed. Then you can ask her what's going on and make sure she is ok. :biggrin: Am I lame?
PS My avatar looks like steeleing1.

No, not lame, just a wonderful, tactful woman, unlike the rest of us hellraisers!:D
peapod1980 avatar
percyAuthor
#29
WWSM do? Write or call her, tell her you realize she did not send a gift again this year. Explain that you were very disappointed and ask her not to put her name in next year so that someone else is not disappointed. Then you can ask her what's going on and make sure she is ok. :biggrin: Am I lame?
PS My avatar looks like steeleing1.

SM - you certainly make the most sense. I wouldn't have the nerve to call her though... I don't think I would be able to keep it "nice", so I just wouldn't.

I like this idea though. percy?
Dangit, SM, you had to go and ruin all the funn, didn't you?! You're right, this is probably the best approach--deal with the issue in a sensible way with a dose of (faux ;-)) concern. Not lame, just diplomatic.
steele mama avatar
Beach Fanatic
#30
Dangit, SM, you had to go and ruin all the funn, didn't you?! You're right, this is probably the best approach--deal with the issue in a sensible way with a dose of (faux ;-)) concern. Not lame, just diplomatic.
Somthing just doesn't seem right about getting angry or even over a Christ-mas present. Truthfully....I probably would'nt do what I said. I would do NOTHING. I'm pretty good at ignoring even when I shouldn't. :blink:
Jennifer Steele avatar
Beach Fanatic
#31
Somthing just doesn't seem right about getting angry or even over a Christ-mas present. Truthfully....I probably would'nt do what I said. I would do NOTHING. I'm pretty good at ignoring even when I shouldn't. :blink:

Kill her with kindness.
steele mama avatar
Beach Fanatic
#32
Kill her with kindness.
There you go child. It will be like pouring hot coals of fire on her head. Was that the object?
Teresa avatar
SoWal Guide
#33
Somthing just doesn't seem right about getting angry or even over a Christ-mas present. Truthfully....I probably would'nt do what I said. I would do NOTHING. I'm pretty good at ignoring even when I shouldn't. :blink:


you are so right. it's not worth it. I would do nothing too. but I would let my friends in the email loop know what happened just so they could do something different next year (like ask her not to participate).
organicmama avatar
Beach Fanatic
#34
you are so right. it's not worth it. I would do nothing too. but I would let my friends in the email loop know what happened just so they could do something different next year (like ask her not to participate).

I wouldn't even do that. Just let it happen again and then her karma will fix it all. :D She sounds like a royally unhappy person, anyway. Just let it be.
potatovixen avatar
Beach Fanatic
#35
I like Steele Mama's idea. You get to be the nice person, and the lady will get the hint. If she feels bad about it and sends a gift,(I know, not likely.) then great. If she doesn't feel bad, oh well. Her loss.

Life's too short to get upset over someone who flaked on a gift exchange.

Edited

Jennifer Steele avatar
Beach Fanatic
#36
you are so right. it's not worth it. I would do nothing too. but I would let my friends in the email loop know what happened just so they could do something different next year (like ask her not to participate).

Or how about calling her to say...

"Hey there friend, I thought you would want to know my package hasn't arrived yet from our gift exchange, and I assumed you would want to check with whatever shipping company you used to see if it was lost. I checked with everyone else in the group, and they all have already received their gift. I'd hate for you to spend all that money on a nice gift just to have it lost in the mail."

She'd get the picture, I would imagine. :cool:

Or you could just direct her to sowal.com for some reason or another, and eventually she would find your post!
pgurney avatar
Beach Fanatic
#37
And then there's always sending her a bottle of wine. I just came from Seagrove Market where they had a reserve pinot noir. The name of it was "Royal B*tch". ;-)

Edited

Teresa avatar
SoWal Guide
#38
Or how about calling her to say...

"Hey there friend, I thought you would want to know my package hasn't arrived yet from our gift exchange, and I assumed you would want to check with whatever shipping company you used to see if it was lost. I checked with everyone else in the group, and they all have already received their gift. I'd hate for you to spend all that money on a nice gift just to have it lost in the mail."

She'd get the picture, I would imagine. :cool:

Or you could just direct her to sowal.com for some reason or another, and eventually she would find your post!


oh, S1, you are good. you are very, very good... :biggrin:
peapod1980 avatar
percyAuthor
#39
I like Steele Mama's idea. You get to be the nice person, and the lady will get the hint. If she feels bad about it and sends a gift,(I know, not likely.) then great. If she doesn't feel bad, oh well. Her loss.

Life's too short to get upset over someone who flaked on a gift exchange.
Don't misunderstand where I'm coming from--it's not about getting a gift, it's about asking a friend to be real. Flaking for two years in a row is really about being inconsiderate.
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#40
Or how about calling her to say...

"Hey there friend, I thought you would want to know my package hasn't arrived yet from our gift exchange, and I assumed you would want to check with whatever shipping company you used to see if it was lost. I checked with everyone else in the group, and they all have already received their gift. I'd hate for you to spend all that money on a nice gift just to have it lost in the mail."

She'd get the picture, I would imagine. :cool:

Or you could just direct her to sowal.com for some reason or another, and eventually she would find your post!
Oh SM...I like this idea! She would get the picture for sure...but I doubt she would fess up....:blush:

Don't misunderstand where I'm coming from--it's not about getting a gift, it's about asking a friend to be real. Flaking for two years in a row is really about being inconsiderate.
There was never any doubt in my mind that this was the case! :wub:
Sometimes it is the principal of the situation!
John R avatar
needs to get out more
#41
shoot her.
Mango avatar
SoWal Insider
#42
shoot her.

:floor: :clap_1: Pea, you'll get the best and funniest advice late at night.

Edited

Cil avatar
Beach Fanatic
#43
Don't misunderstand where I'm coming from--it's not about getting a gift, it's about asking a friend to be real. Flaking for two years in a row is really about being inconsiderate.

Yes.
I hate when people get away with this kind of stuff because everyone else is so nice, tiptoeing around them.
Nothing wrong with asking a friend to be real--or be gone.
audie avatar
fartblossom
#44
believe it or not - i liked the sending poop idea :D
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#45
believe it or not - i liked the sending poop idea :D
:biggrin: This does not surprise me Fartblossom....:funn:
audie avatar
fartblossom
#46
:biggrin: This does not surprise me Fartblossom....:funn:

:wub:
mleigh avatar
Beach Lover
#47
I have a group of friends from all parts of the country who keep in touch via an email loop. Every year at Christmas, we do Secret Santa gifts. This year we delayed it with a target date of New Year's. So, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting... Finally I ask for the name of my Santa and immediately know I'm screwed. The person who drew me never sent a gift to her "giftee" last year, and also last year claimed that she never received the gift that was sent to her, though the Santa Girl had proof she mailed the package. I'm irritated, she's never been called on any of this, what do I do?

Cease that BS! Also, I have a great excercise.....Make a list of the friends in your life. Draw a circle. In that circle write all of those who are positive and enhance your life with never a dishonest moment. Outside the circle place your frinds that you are undecided rather they are worth YOUR time! If those relationships on the ouside cannnot be improved or placed in the circle afte a few months...... WEED THEM OUT! They will bring you down.

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