Teenagers and cell phones

[kkn]

Does anyone out there have problems with there teens and cell phones?
My 14 year old is obsessed with hers. Tonight I told her to bring it to our room at 10:00 because people text her late at night. She says she puts it on silent, but I know she is going to look at it to see who is texting. You would have thought I told her she could never leave the house again the way she reacted when I told her to turn it in at 10:00.
What are the ground rules with cell phones in other households? She just got it last year when she started traveling to out of town ballgames. We held out that long because we said we wouldn't get one until it was necessary. She always took one of ours before.
Am I being unreasonable about her turning it in at 10:00 - that's her bedtime?

 

[Miss Kitty]

bb says...No, it is not unreasonable.

 

[Rudyjohn]

there will be lots of parents chiming in here with lots of good advice. My son is 17 & acts the same way. We've tried to curb the text usage at night to be used during the weekend only but I don't think that happens. But for a 14 y.o. I think I would do what you're doing too. Let her earn some additional time when she can prove she is abiding by your rule.

Just today, my son was CONSTANTLY texting - during church (I made him stop), at the restaurant tonight. So much, he announced he needed to clear his inbox. (It happens to be a new love interest.) It's all about today's youth. It's not unlike us talking on the phone when we were teens.

Stay strong.

.

 

[kkn]

I remember talking on the phone for hours sometimes and my Dad coming in and telling me to get off. But, today they take the phones everywhere. She was texting on the way to church but she has to leave it in the car while at church. Our youth director came back from a meeting in Dallas last month and said the cell issues were a heated topic. Some youth directors said they keep a basket by the door and have them drop it off when they come in. We have a lot of conversations about "phone etiquette" . Using the phone at the dinner table or when in conversation with other people. But I think it just goes in one ear and out the other.

 

[potatovixen]

Totally reasonable.

My brother and I weren't allowed to get phones until we got our driver's licenses. (And, of course, it was always drilled into our heads that we were to never talk/text while driving.) The logic was that since we'd be out driving by ourselves, we'd need the phone in case of an emergency or just to check in when we got to our destination.

Before having our own phones, if we went anywhere with friends, our mom would let us borrow her phone and we'd call Dad's phone or the house if we needed anything.

I can understand why a 14-year-old would want her own phone (and should be able to have one) but she should respect your request without too much fuss, especially if you're the one paying the bill.

 

[kkn]

I told her as long as we pay the bill we make the rules. She thinks it's about not trusting her. I told her it's about sleep. She may have it on silent but it lights up right beside her head on her nightstand. Do they allow phones in the jrl and sr high schools? Our jr. high has a no cell phone policy, but if they don't see it they don't care. So the kids use them all day in the classes they know they can get away with. The high school is very strict about no usage during school hours.

 

[John R]

maybe she should pay for it. as long as adults pay for it, it will be considered a free service. some will chime in and say 'it's for emergencies'. if so, they should only use it in an emergency. there were emergencies before there were cell phones. when they're presented with the bill, you can be sure usage will drop. ymmv

 

[organicmama]

maybe she should pay for it. as long as adults pay for it, it will be considered a free service. some will chime in and say 'it's for emergencies'. if so, they should only use it in an emergency. there were emergencies before there were cell phones. when they're presented with the bill, you can be sure usage will drop. ymmv

ITA, but she's only 14, so money comes from mama & daddy in the first place.

I am NOT ready for those years. 2 girls.... ugh!

 

[Mermaid]

Does anyone out there have problems with there teens and cell phones?
My 14 year old is obsessed with hers. Tonight I told her to bring it to our room at 10:00 because people text her late at night. She says she puts it on silent, but I know she is going to look at it to see who is texting. You would have thought I told her she could never leave the house again the way she reacted when I told her to turn it in at 10:00.
What are the ground rules with cell phones in other households? She just got it last year when she started traveling to out of town ballgames. We held out that long because we said we wouldn't get one until it was necessary. She always took one of ours before.
Am I being unreasonable about her turning it in at 10:00 - that's her bedtime?

Your daughter is perfectly normal and so are you for being irritated with her. There's not a one of us out here who haven't gone through the same thing with our teens! It's what kids do. Take the phone at bedtime and re-issue it the next morning. It's the only way to assure you uninterrupted sleep.

Next up is the blow-up about what all this talking is costing you. Be prepared for something that looks like a third world debt. (hint: up your coverage since teens are incurable but not before your daughter pays the phone overage)

 

[John R]

L, I understand it's a fine line, but the children must be made to understand that a cellphone isn't a free convenience. I worked during the summers at 14, 15, 16, selling papers, working on the beach, etc. even household chores can be traded for a dollar amount.

I recognize also that the original poster made no mention of $$, it was about txting. if money is removed from the equation, then the children must recognize that there are boundries, and some behavior is just plain rude. txting in church? at the dinner table? calling someone's house after 10pm is pretty much reserved for an emergency, tcting fall w/in the same category. maybe a basket should be placed at the door to the house, and phones live there during off hours.

again(for me) it's about the money. get them the phone(they're pretty much free anymore) but make the kids pay for more than basic service. they can always leave the house with $2.00 in change to make a call(if they can find a payphone anymore)