In a bizarre turn of events that could only happen in Florida, this morning the Florida House of Representatives chambers have been overrun by a small but steadily growing mass of what appears to be mostly females.
Barricading themselves inside, this swelling group is chanting U ? TER ? US, then inexplicably breaking into fits of hysterical giggling.
When asked what steps are being taken to regain control and restore order, Florida House Sergeant at Arms replied, ?We are working closely with negotiators to bring this to a peaceful conclusion.?
When asked about their demands, he replied, ?It doesn?t really seem like they have any. They sent us a note that says,
Florida House Speaker Rep. Dean Cannon (R) was observed being escorted out of the building by rather weary looking security guards. Reportedly, he had his fingers in his ears, and was chanting ?na-na-na-na-na.?
None of the GOP House members are available for comment. ?They won?t come back until the chanting stops,? said one harried looking assistant.
House Democrats appear blithely unconcerned however. In shirtsleeves and loose ties, most are munching on a bagel and sipping coffee, chatting it up with groups of curious onlookers.
When told of U-TER-US?s demands, Rep. Scott Randolph (D) replied, ?Cool. Let me know when the pizza gets here.?
At this time, Governor Rick Scott has not responded to media inquiries. He has promised to address this issue next week at a Tea Party Rally in Palatka. This morning he twatted a tweet saying he will announce a proposed tax on body parts used in reproductive events.
As the pizza arrived, a leader from U-TER-US demanded Rep. Randolph presence in the chambers. Disregarding security forces warnings and with an apparent disregard for his own safety, Randolph approached the chamber doors. He was quickly led inside. After a moment of hushed conversation, the chambers swelled with wild cheering. A few moments later he emerged, unharmed and gnawing on a piece of pizza.
When asked if U-TER-US had any further demands, he said, ?Well apparently they have a bunch. They directed me to this Facebook page.
?Let me know when U-TER-US needs me again,? Randolph continued.
Barricading themselves inside, this swelling group is chanting U ? TER ? US, then inexplicably breaking into fits of hysterical giggling.
When asked what steps are being taken to regain control and restore order, Florida House Sergeant at Arms replied, ?We are working closely with negotiators to bring this to a peaceful conclusion.?
When asked about their demands, he replied, ?It doesn?t really seem like they have any. They sent us a note that says,
We?re not coming out until 2014.
Send pizza and beer please.
Yours truly,
U?TER?US
Republican House members have been evacuated to an undisclosed location somewhere outside of the State. An unidentified source named Governor Scott Walker said they are at his house in Wisconsin. They are rumored to be attending bible studies and deep in prayer.Send pizza and beer please.
Yours truly,
U?TER?US
Florida House Speaker Rep. Dean Cannon (R) was observed being escorted out of the building by rather weary looking security guards. Reportedly, he had his fingers in his ears, and was chanting ?na-na-na-na-na.?
None of the GOP House members are available for comment. ?They won?t come back until the chanting stops,? said one harried looking assistant.
House Democrats appear blithely unconcerned however. In shirtsleeves and loose ties, most are munching on a bagel and sipping coffee, chatting it up with groups of curious onlookers.
When told of U-TER-US?s demands, Rep. Scott Randolph (D) replied, ?Cool. Let me know when the pizza gets here.?
At this time, Governor Rick Scott has not responded to media inquiries. He has promised to address this issue next week at a Tea Party Rally in Palatka. This morning he twatted a tweet saying he will announce a proposed tax on body parts used in reproductive events.
As the pizza arrived, a leader from U-TER-US demanded Rep. Randolph presence in the chambers. Disregarding security forces warnings and with an apparent disregard for his own safety, Randolph approached the chamber doors. He was quickly led inside. After a moment of hushed conversation, the chambers swelled with wild cheering. A few moments later he emerged, unharmed and gnawing on a piece of pizza.
When asked if U-TER-US had any further demands, he said, ?Well apparently they have a bunch. They directed me to this Facebook page.
?Let me know when U-TER-US needs me again,? Randolph continued.
