For the Guys: The Handbook for your Lady...

[Smiling JOe]

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one

13. Potential Murder Suspect

 

[Jdarg]

Kiss my A$$! You think you are funny????

Pass My freakin' sweatpants or I will kill you.




;-)

 

[Cork On the Ocean]

SJ, I'm surprised at you:nono1: . Did you have an argument with one of your midget girlfriends? (sorry couldn't resist).

OK, I take it back right now but be good or you're gonna get slammed by all these PMS women :rofl:

 

[kathydwells]

OH Wait SJ, you forgot my favorite line during that "time". BITE ME !!!!!!

 

[Smiling JOe]

SJ, I'm surprised at you:nono1: . Did you have an argument with one of your midget girlfriends? (sorry couldn't resist).

OK, I take it back right now but be good or you're gonna get slammed by all these PMS women :rofl:

Actually, it was given to me by a female, and she says that it is critical that every man know this guide and that it, "should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet..."

So are you ladies bringing up "Rule 2 (from The Rules): The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification?"

 

[Mango]

You try getting PMS and put on one of those pads with "wings," then fly off the roof laughing hysterically while riding your broom. :nono1:
It's not easy.

 

[Cheering472]

You're jumping up and down on my last nerve SJ You better have some chocolate to calm me down.

 

[Sheila]

One you missed. My son asked FBB long ago, "Dad what does PMS mean?" Without one seconds hesitation he replied, "Possesed Monthly by Satan, son."

I didn't laugh right away.

 

[Smiling JOe]

You're jumping up and down on my last nerve SJ You better have some chocolate to calm me down.

 

[Cheering472]

One you missed. My son asked FBB long ago, "Dad what does PMS mean?" Without one seconds hesitation he replied, "Possesed Monthly by Satan, son."

I didn't laugh right away.

...and is he still alive? Is he bruised or lumpy from this statement?