Teenagers and cell phones

[Ocean Lover]

My daughter, also 14, has had a phone for a couple of years now. It was a regular flip phone and while it did have texting, you had to pay extra for it. She used it sparingly and proved very responsible. She has a friend that whenever she went out with us would text constantly..even during dinner. Both Sam and I felt this was very rude. Obviously we were not a priority. Sam and I talked about it and both agreed that she would never do that. When it was time to get Sam a new phone, we chose one with a qwerty keyboard for easy texting. I also allowed her to have unlimited texting since she proved responsible with her other phone. When she goes up to bed at night she turns her phone off and charges it. Of course she turns it on first thing in the morning and usually has a text or two but it's not like it's that important...Sup? Hey? that kind of stuff. She very good at discerning when and when not to text. I don't have any complaints...most of the time. She wouldn't dream of texting during church. I know I have a very compliant child and it's not always as easy for others. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! If I find out Sam isn't keeping hers turned off, I will do the same. I used to take her ipod away when grades slipped or when I needed some sort of leverage....now it's the cell phone...her baby. It kills them if they can't stay connected with their friends. Oh, she also knows that if I'm paying the bill that I can pick up her phone at any time and read texts, ingoing/outgoing calls etc.. she's cool with that. Not that she loves the idea but knows I would be doing it to protect her.

 

[Ocean Lover]

L, I understand it's a fine line, but the children must be made to understand that a cellphone isn't a free convenience. I worked during the summers at 14, 15, 16, selling papers, working on the beach, etc. even household chores can be traded for a dollar amount.

I recognize also that the original poster made no mention of $$, it was about txting. if money is removed from the equation, then the children must recognize that there are boundries, and some behavior is just plain rude. txting in church? at the dinner table? calling someone's house after 10pm is pretty much reserved for an emergency, tcting fall w/in the same category. maybe a basket should be placed at the door to the house, and phones live there during off hours.

again(for me) it's about the money. get them the phone(they're pretty much free anymore) but make the kids pay for more than basic service. they can always leave the house with $2.00 in change to make a call(if they can find a payphone anymore)

Good points and I agree with most. The thing with kids and cell phones in today's world is that a cell phone is just about like a house phone when we were kids. We didn't have to pay to talk on the phone for hours at a time in our bedrooms. One thing I didn't mention in my last post was that Sam paid for part of her first phone and paid for all the texting. The second phone was a basically a reward for being responsible with the first.

 

[Ocean Lover]

If you have a texting teen then you probably are paying for unlimited texting. I don't like surprises. It's $10 a month and worth every penny.

 

[John R]

Good points and I agree with most. The thing with kids and cell phones in today's world is that a cell phone is just about like a house phone when we were kids. We didn't have to pay to talk on the phone for hours at a time in our bedrooms. One thing I didn't mention in my last post was that Sam paid for part of her first phone and paid for all the texting. The second phone was a basically a reward for being responsible with the first.

that's excellent that she's responsible with it and for it. congratulations. the thing about the house phone vs the cell phone is that dad can't pick up another extension and say 'hang up, now' ;-)

 

[jodiFL]

I was having so many surprise text bills that I found a handy little button at my service providers website. I can turn off/on text there anytime I want. (dont think hes figured it out yet ...just says he cant receive texts sometimes and that he thinks his phone is messed up.:roll:

 

[peapod1980]

I was having so many surprise text bills that I found a handy little button at my service providers website. I can turn off/on text there anytime I want. (dont think hes figured it out yet ...just says he cant receive texts sometimes and that he thinks his phone is messed up.:roll:

jodi, consider yourself high-fived!

 

[Rudyjohn]

that's excellent that she's responsible with it and for it. congratulations. the thing about the house phone vs the cell phone is that dad can't pick up another extension and say 'hang up, now' ;-)

but you can run in the room and yell, "get off the phone NOW!!" :funn:

 

[kkn]

Thanks for all the advice. We do have unlimited texting. The only way she is making money now is doing chores around the house. And on occasion this summer she can help at her aunts jewelry store which is an hour away. There may be some babysitting jobs coming up.
JodiFL what service do you use. We have AT&T and I will have to check into the turning off the texting at night. As long as she turns it in at night it's not a problem. Paying for all the extras they get is a good way to learn to appreciate there lifestyles today. Finding time for jobs with their busy schedules is hard. We have already started laying down the rules for the summer. We will not pay to go to the movie all the time ,they have to start paying their own way on things.
May 11 yr. old daughter is always looking for ways to make money. She saves it for something she really wants and works hard for it. Her older sister doesn't have that initiative. They can all be sooo different. You think you have it fiqured out with one and then the other is a complete opposite. I guess that's how my brother and sister were. But, my mom was always so kind and patience. Something I lack in some days. :angry: Our kids face alot more then we did back in the day.
Thanks, you all I feel like I'm on the right track with the phone I just have to stick with the rules and make her understand it is a luxury and not always a necessary to have.

 

[jodiFL]

jodi, consider yourself high-fived!

Yea... I think it really messes him up when he will be out with friends and I turn it on and text him then turn it back off real quick. hehehehehe:funn:But we use Virgin Mobile. It is the only one I have found that gets a good signal all up and down 30A.

 

[Cheering472]

Yea... I think it really messes him up when he will be out with friends and I turn it on and text him then turn it back off real quick. hehehehehe:funn:But we use Virgin Mobile. It is the only one I have found that gets a good signal all up and down 30A.

Perfect!!!