Could the answer be lack of available emergency funds. I agree with you that a central government isn't always your friend but it should be. Let's not give up on this original idea.
"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense' promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America".
It isn't us against them, it is We The People. I realize I'm a bit naive but I still believe in this. By having a central government that is supported by it's members (states) through contributions (taxes) we are able to set up reserve funds managed by departments to handle things like emergencies that a single state could not fund on their own. I admit it isn't working as well as it should but let's not give up so easily.