http://www.theonion.com/content/news/pantene_markets_new_shampoo_asCINCINNATI?In an attempt to capture a wider share of the marketplace, the Procter & Gamble corporation launched a campaign Monday to rebrand its popular Pro-V line of shampoos as the leading hair-care product for women with dry, brittle hair who also wish to manually bring their boyfriends to climax while showering.
The affordable shampoo promises salon-quality looks and a frictionless orgasm.
"In addition to providing women with a luxuriant head of shiny, healthy hair, our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is ideal for vigorously working that special someone's member without the soreness and discomfort caused by other shampoos," spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe said. "With 20 percent more of the moisture-rich ingredients found in the original Pro-V formula, your hair will always look great, and his penis will never get dried out or chafed."
Print advertisements for the shampoo emphasize its nonslip ergonomic bottle design, as well as its availability in several different sizes. These include a travel size for conveniently masturbating one's boyfriend on romantic vacations, and bulk sizes, which according to the ads, are "perfect for that EXTRA-special man."
"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro-V2 has got you covered," Radcliffe said.
The affordable shampoo promises salon-quality looks and a frictionless orgasm.
"In addition to providing women with a luxuriant head of shiny, healthy hair, our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is ideal for vigorously working that special someone's member without the soreness and discomfort caused by other shampoos," spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe said. "With 20 percent more of the moisture-rich ingredients found in the original Pro-V formula, your hair will always look great, and his penis will never get dried out or chafed."
Print advertisements for the shampoo emphasize its nonslip ergonomic bottle design, as well as its availability in several different sizes. These include a travel size for conveniently masturbating one's boyfriend on romantic vacations, and bulk sizes, which according to the ads, are "perfect for that EXTRA-special man."
"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro-V2 has got you covered," Radcliffe said.
What she said.
