I'm About to Go Broke!

It is hard but all these kids do the same thing as him. They meet to eat and then do their rehearsals. In some ways it is tough for them to get some social time in, but they manage an hour here or there. It will get tougher the older he gets. He started his sophomore year today and went right to driver's ed. w/in 15 minutes of getting out of school today until 6pm. Then it's home to practice and then homework. He told me he was going out to lunch with "Emily" tomorrow. She's a Sr. and someone new. I will not give him $$ to buy her lunch too!

I went through the same thing with #4. She was too busy with legitimate things to work during the school year, especially before she could drive and all the big sisses were gone.

I think the best idea is to give the set amount weekly. This set amount can be large enough ($50 or more) that they don't ever have to ask you for $ again. He has to save from it for the bigger expenses that may come up, like new shoes. I tried this and it worked great but as a single mom I didn't even have the $50 a week to give her so it didn't work very long. If you add what you are spending now it is probably a lot more than that. Soon he will be working, wherever he can, I'm sure. He sounds like an industrious kid.

I went through the same thing with #4. She was too busy with legitimate things to work during the school year, especially before she could drive and all the big sisses were gone.

I think the best idea is to give the set amount weekly. This set amount can be large enough ($50 or more) that they don't ever have to ask you for $ again. He has to save from it for the bigger expenses that may come up, like new shoes. I tried this and it worked great but as a single mom I didn't even have the $50 a week to give her so it didn't work very long. If you add what you are spending now it is probably a lot more than that. Soon he will be working, wherever he can, I'm sure. He sounds like an industrious kid.

I think the $50/week is MORE than generous (I'm thinking less in fact!) & should cover his school lunches too. This sounds like a good plan to me. And to think I only got $7/week when I was 15!
Thank you for your kind words.

Geez - this thread makes me apprecate my two 'girls' :shock: They can be expensive at times... but not on the scale that's being discussed here

Johnrudy: it sounds like you are getting some excellent advice here.

BTW: an earlier post makes me wonder:

...is funding your kid's college a 'birth-right' these days???!
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Try this:

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: No.

The End.


(It worked for my parents)

Try this:

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: No.

The End.

(It worked for my parents)

. . . . :funn: . . . . :clap_1:
________________________

Try this:

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: No.

The End.


(It worked for my parents)

Mine went like this.

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: Get a job.

KID: I did.

The End.

Let me guess... you don't have kids! :funn:
I'm really asking others about allowance. But you tried. ;-)

That would be correct, but I do sympathize with your predicament - it can't be easy. Not sure I would be up to the task. I do like Cil and Memaid's advice
______________________________

Try this:

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: No.

The End.


(It worked for my parents)

Let me guess... you don't have kids! :funn:
I'm really asking others about allowance. But you tried. ;-)

Both our girls worked and still do. We gave them a tank of gas...much higher now, and $20. That was for anything they wanted to do and purchase school lunch. They seemed to survive even with friends who had unlimited funds. You will find a solution that works for you...just keep trying.

Audi...I had the EXACT same yard experience...push mowed 2 acres. While it did not kill me, I do not mow yards today. I will do without to hire it done. Besides hiring it helps some kid have spending money.

Let me guess... you don't have kids! :funn:
I'm really asking others about allowance. But you tried. ;-)

As a matter of fact...I've got "adults" who've got kids..they've started using "no" on their toddlers. It's much, much easier when you start them young. ;-)

As a matter of fact...I've got "adults" who've got kids..they've started using "no" on their toddlers. It's much, much easier when you start them young. ;-)

So true.

Hmmmm.... never asked. Knew the answer already. I was a supremo babysitter! Saved my $$$$$. Got a job when I was 16. Retired from that company when I was older than dirt.

When my 2 asked for $$$$ for breakfast out. Response was, "what's wrong with the breakfast we have here?"

If they required something different. Answer was, " get a job and save your $$$$."

Sometimes, they were hungry. Their choice. Not ours. We them. They have survived.

Stay strong, this too shall pass. ;-)

Hmmmm.... never asked. Knew the answer already.
When my 2 asked for $$$$ for breakfast out. Response was, "what's wrong with the breakfast we have here?"
If they required something different. Answer was, " get a job and save your $$$$."
Sometimes, they were hungry. Their choice. Not ours. We them. They have survived.
Stay strong, this too shall pass. ;-)

Somewhere between "then" and "now" this type of parenting seems to be fading away. I know what you mean when you say "there was no point in asking since you already knew the answer."

I'm sure there were times when I had to "miss out" on something that made me get pissed at my parents--but to tell you the truth, after all these years, I don't remember what any of that was.

What I do remember is that my parents gave me a roof over my head, clothes (probably not "IN" style), food, love, and the discipline to make my own way in the world...and I've raised "adults" who take me to Starbucks and insist on picking up the tab and I let them ;-)

What I do remember is that my parents gave me a roof over my head, clothes (probably not "IN" style), food, love, and the discipline to make my own way in the world...and I've raised "adults" who take me to Starbucks and insist on picking up the tab and I let them ;-)

:clap_1: That's the way it should be.

It only gets worse.

When I was 16 I spent the summer working at Baskin Robbins. After that, when I didn't have something after school...and the summers until my senior year, I worked at the Gap. But didn't save a dime...but kept Drex and Gussifunn quiet.

johnrudy, seems like there's more he could do around the house to earn some dough. washing/cleaning the inside of the cars weekly, mowing, snow removal. the payment of a specific amount at the beginning of the month is a great idea, and should come with some lessons regarding a budget, breaking it down to $$/day available. this way he knows what he needs to do if a big social event is coming up. it will probably help him with developing a budget for his time also. if someone wants money hard enough, they'll finsd a way to attain it.

mermaid, who pays for your daughter's cell phone usage? she seems like a pretty heavy user. posing the question: is a cell phone a parent's responsibility?

johnrudy, seems like there's more he could do around the house to earn some dough. washing/cleaning the inside of the cars weekly, mowing, snow removal. the payment of a specific amount at the beginning of the month is a great idea, and should come with some lessons regarding a budget, breaking it down to $$/day available. this way he knows what he needs to do if a big social event is coming up. it will probably help him with developing a budget for his time also. if someone wants money hard enough, they'll finsd a way to attain it.

mermaid, who pays for your daughter's cell phone usage? she seems like a pretty heavy user. posing the question: is a cell phone a parent's responsibility?

mr audie and i were just discussing this last night. i can say with complete confidence that my parents would not repeat not pay for my cell phone usage...

i started working when i was 15 too, in the kitchen at a nursing home, then i progessed to a nurses' aide. then a secretary at a medical clinic, then my dream job that i have now

my sis on the other hand, only had to work 2 days a week at kmart in the summer....something wasn't right was it ?

much as i hated working as a young person, i am glad i did. it made me appreciate things more when i bought them myself as opposed to mom and pop paying for them.

I think the $50/week is MORE than generous (I'm thinking less in fact!) & should cover his school lunches too. :

Wow, $50 a WEEK is indeed a lot of money. Must be some fancy lunches! ;-)

We didn't have any problem giving out $50-$60 a month; it was good for the guys to have to make it last and actually learn some money management skills.
Once they got jobs, they no longer got the pocket money.
And of course, since then, the older kid has had to learn about paying rent and buying groceries.

As for cell phones, we paid for the older one's first one; he got it sophomore year of high school. It was on my husband's plan.
I have never owned a cellphone but I liked my kids having them.
We continued to pay for the older son's phone through college. After that he was on his own (got some funky little French cell--it's cheaper over there.) And now that he's back, he'll need to figure out that one on his own.

Younger one damaged his and has to wait awhile for another.

Wow, $50 a WEEK is indeed a lot of money. Must be some fancy lunches! ;-)

We didn't have any problem giving out $50-$60 a month; it was good for the guys to have to make it last and actually learn some money management skills.
Once they got jobs, they no longer got the pocket money.
And of course, since then, the older kid has had to learn about paying rent and buying groceries.

As for cell phones, we paid for the older one's first one; he got it sophomore year of high school. It was on my husband's plan.
I have never owned a cellphone but I liked my kids having them.
We continued to pay for the older son's phone through college. After that he was on his own (got some funky little French cell--it's cheaper over there.) And now that he's back, he'll need to figure out that one on his own.

Younger one damaged his and has to wait awhile for another.

We aren't doing the $50 a week. That was sort of an arbitrary amount. We do think $20/week for school lunches and snacks. He's there some days until dinnertime. But we have yet to come up with an amount for additional $$. And yes, we do give him $$ for his entertainment and he does do weekly chores at home.
We had this discussion this morning before he left for school.

mermaid, who pays for your daughter's cell phone usage? she seems like a pretty heavy user. posing the question: is a cell phone a parent's responsibility?

So you noticed??

Just mention "cell phone" in the same sentence as "teenager" and you will see many parents get hot under the collar. Cell phone usage can be a big bone of contention, let me tell you. What we do in our house is pay for a family plan--a higher number of minutes than I deem necessary but that quite literally is the price you pay when you have teens under your roof--and if there are overage charges, the kids pay for them. We've told ours how many minutes they have, we've shown them how to check periodically to see if they're close to the limit, and if they go over, it's their own damn fault and they pay their portion. We do feel it is our responsibility, however, to pay for the basic bill because we like to keep in touch with the kids for many reasons, and it gives us peace of mind when they're using the cars, especially late at night. I know that we all grew up healthy and happy without cell phones, but it's a different world out there for our kids. I think it's a good expense overall and I don't begrudge paying for it.

oh god, i had to help mow the 1 1/2 acres my parents have - i got the funn job of trimming around all of mom's flower beds, trees, etc. i swore once i left i would never mow again and i haven't !

Im with you, I had to mow the lawn, clean the pool, and chop firewood. the pool and the wood I didnt mind but I hated mowing the lawn. My wife gets mad at me but I pay someone to mow now. I have not cut my own grass in 10 years. When I was dating my wife I cut hers a few times but that got old quick. But I did earn my allowance which back in the early 80s was 5 bucks a week until I started driving then my dad gave me 20 a week and I had a job bussing tables for date and gas money.

Hmmmm.... never asked. Knew the answer already. I was a supremo babysitter! Saved my $$$$$. Got a job when I was 16. Retired from that company when I was older than dirt.

When my 2 asked for $$$$ for breakfast out. Response was, "what's wrong with the breakfast we have here?"

If they required something different. Answer was, " get a job and save your $$$$."

Sometimes, they were hungry. Their choice. Not ours. We them. They have survived.

Stay strong, this too shall pass. ;-)

:clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1:

Thats the way my parents were also. Latley my wife and I have been having a little bit of money problems or lack of. My father saw a little stress in me and sent me a check for 500 bucks. I ripped up the check and threw it away. I havnt needed my parent money since I was in my teens and Im not going to start now. My folks taught me better than that and they started when I was young. I respect that they are retired and should not have to support me, hell I should be sending them 500 bucks and supporting them by now.

Johnrudy I hope we've not overwhelmed you with all this advice. I do think this board is a wonderful asset and it seems there are many wonderful parents here. I had to always remind myself to change my parenting as my kids grew. What one does with a 3 year old as a parent is different than the 10 year old and again different for the 15 year old. At this point try to look ahead...what you do for him today will affect you (and him) in 5 years.

He sounds like a great kid. I love that he's busy, my kids always did well when they were busy. Let me say that I strongly encouraged mine to work, especially in the summer. However during school months, I made them reduce their work schedule. They couldn't work late any night during the week but rather needed a job that would use them heavily on weekends. School and their grades came first. This meant they worked harder during the summer and saved extra to get them through the winter. They were little squirrels. When they were driving they paid for their own gas and insurance this way.

Your posts about him clearly show a fine young man, he's like all of us, a work in progress. Stay strong y'all get there.

Johnrudy I hope we've not overwhelmed you with all this advice. I do think this board is a wonderful asset and it seems there are many wonderful parents here. I had to always remind myself to change my parenting as my kids grew. What one does with a 3 year old as a parent is different than the 10 year old and again different for the 15 year old. At this point try to look ahead...what you do for him today will affect you (and him) in 5 years.

He sounds like a great kid. I love that he's busy, my kids always did well when they were busy. Let me say that I strongly encouraged mine to work, especially in the summer. However during school months, I made them reduce their work schedule. They couldn't work late any night during the week but rather needed a job that would use them heavily on weekends. School and their grades came first. This meant they worked harder during the summer and saved extra to get them through the winter. They were little squirrels. When they were driving they paid for their own gas and insurance this way.

Your posts about him clearly show a fine young man, he's like all of us, a work in progress. Stay strong y'all get there.

Thank you. I'm sure I did ease up on him this summer and hand out $$ a little too freely w/o realilizing it immediately. He wasn't working in a paying job this summer but he did, by his own choice, take 2 semesters of geometry in summer school to be able to take advanced algebra in school this year. This was 7 weeks of geometry, 5 hours a day. So yes, I did hand him $$ for lunches out with friends before his other "commitments" (band camp, driver's ed.) kicked in in the afternoons & evenings. So in some ways, he's already working.

Most of the suggestions have been very helpful & positive. Thanks; and it's been interesting to read others' remarks and advice!

:clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1:

Try this:

KID: Mom/Dad can I have some money to go out to breakfast with my friends?

MOM/DAD: No.

The End.


(It worked for my parents)