A parent's gotta vent sometimes...

[peapod1980]

Peapod, you did a great job handling the situation. Maybe you have brought to light that these kind of rules ,need to be in writing!

Thanks, GTTBM. It was a rough one--I wanted fairness but knew I might not get it, and that would be a lesson for all of us. This was one of those rare cases that comes along once in a blue moon, so it was really unfamiliar territory to me. Had this been a case of carelessness or forgetfulness on his part, it would have been a totally different story!

 

[peapod1980]

We teach our kids that it's both. You need to have mastery at what you do so you can do it well (and I bet you are very good at what you do, Kimmifun). And you need to have to be good at developing relationships if you want to be able to do what you do well to the best of your ability and to have an impact (and I bet you're really good at this, too, Kimmifun)....

At our house, too, Paula. Both aspects are stressed. Little Pea #1 is an over-conscientious student, A's with an occasional B. He is hard on himself and works very hard. Actually, to the point that I have found myself having to work to de-emphasize the importance of grades. One thing I have started doing over the years is coming home from parent/teacher conferences to praise the character issues the teachers highlight. Really, by the grace of God--I'm not taking the credit--he is a great kid. So, inevitably, I'll have his teachers tell me that he's courteous, thoughtful, respectful and kind. I'm not bragging, I guess these things are highlighted by the teachers so much because they're becoming more and more rare. So, what I do is mention these things first--I tell him what the teachers have said and I tell him how much it means to me that he's that kind of person. Then I give him an "Atta boy" for his grades.

 

[Ocean Lover]

At our house, too, Paula. Both aspects are stressed. Little Pea #1 is an over-conscientious student, A's with an occasional B. He is hard on himself and works very hard. Actually, to the point that I have found myself having to work to de-emphasize the importance of grades. One thing I have started doing over the years is coming home from parent/teacher conferences to praise the character issues the teachers highlight. Really, by the grace of God--I'm not taking the credit--he is a great kid. So, inevitably, I'll have his teachers tell me that he's courteous, thoughtful, respectful and kind. I'm not bragging, I guess these things are highlighted by the teachers so much because they're becoming more and more rare. So, what I do is mention these things first--I tell him what the teachers have said and I tell him how much it means to me that he's that kind of person. Then I give him an "Atta boy" for his grades.

I think you and Mr. Pea do have to take credit for this! You are a great Mom! I agree, I think kindness, courtesy and respect from children/teens is becoming very rare and it's really sad. I also value these things and praise my kids when a teacher shares this.

 

[Paula]

Peapod:

Your ideas certainly make sense to me. It is so important that kids know that their parents are paying attention (even when we're not sure if we're doing the right thing, at least we're paying attention)! I truly enjoy thinking through what's good for kids and what helps them develop into good-willed, happy, healthy, resilient adults who live up to their abilities and feel a responsibility to contribute to others and the world around them.

It's interesting to see how our parental philosphies about life/school/etc. play out with our kids. Our children are still young and the true test of whether our guidance was really useful to them will come when they're in college and beyond I think -- and much as we try, a lot is beyond our control. But for now we're very happy with our kids' choices and the way they behave (most of the time). We live in a town and neighborhood that very much believes that "it takes a village..." so we're lucky (and our kids are, too, and they seem to know that and appreciate their lives). Most of all, we love and enjoy them! They're a hoot.

Hmmm, and now that I'm thinking about it -- I should try to take some life lessons from the kids as well... I'll have to think more about that one.

 

[peapod1980]

I think you and Mr. Pea do have to take credit for this! You are a great Mom! I agree, I think kindness, courtesy and respect from children/teens is becoming very rare and it's really sad. I also value these things and praise my kids when a teacher shares this.

Well, we are a parenting team of 3--Little Pea #1's dad is the former Mr. Pea, if you will. So, I do have to say the groundwork for who he is was laid by us, and we continue to co-parent on a daily basis, along with Mr. Pod, if you will. But we all work together and share the same goals and ideals, so I hope if there is any credit to be given, it can be split 3 ways. :clap_1:

 

[Rita]

Peapod, This has been a good thread.
There is no doubt that your little Pea#1 is already growing up to be an outstanding Pea! You are raising him well!

 

[Jdarg]

Peapod, This has been a good thread.
There is no doubt that your little Pea#1 is already growing up to be an outstanding Pea! You are raising him well!

Rita- the pea in a diaper is your most unbelievable pic find yet! A pea in a diaper. Who would think to diaper a pea?

 

[Rita]

Rita- the pea in a diaper is your most unbelievable pic find yet! A pea in a diaper. Who would think to diaper a pea?

Veggie Tales? ;-)

By the way, is your avatar a deer? Really curious - I love it.

 

[Jdarg]

Veggie Tales? ;-)

By the way, is your avatar a deer? Really curious - I love it.

I have never seen Veggie Tales! 2 kids, and somehow I avoided it!

My avatar is The Drummer by Barry Flanagan, at the Hirshhorn Museum in DC. It's a skinny bunny (not a Rabbit!!:nono1: ).

 

[peapod1980]

Peapod, This has been a good thread.
There is no doubt that your little Pea#1 is already growing up to be an outstanding Pea! You are raising him well!

Thanks, Rita!
Oh, I LOVE the diapered pea!