A parent's gotta vent sometimes...

[Jennifer Steele]

I wonder if the teacher has to write the written teaching plan and grade papers and such when he/she is out sick at this school. If so, I question the accuracy and ability to focus when so miserable.

That's what I was thinking...when my kid is REALLY sick, no one in the household is concerned about calling the school to get assignments and getting him out of bed to actually complete them. When you're sick, you're sick. That's why you stay home, to rest. Making up the work within two days after being ill is reasonable. If it is a planned vacation, I can understand being required to get all assignments finished upon return to school. They're different. I'm with ya, peapod!

 

[Mermaid]

I can't tell you how many times I've heard friends of mine tell this same story. Luckily, it hasn't applied to either of my children, so I've never been at the receiving end. I would have had the same reaction as you because it is unfair given there's no iron-clad school policy about late homework due to sickness. In fact, unless that teacher has given out a policy sheet for her particular classroom, she probably doesn't have a leg to stand on about the instant markdown.

Having said that, however, I have a thought to share. Many junior high schools follow a stricter policy than the lower grades in order to prepare their students for high school. Your child is going to have to meet tougher standards in 7th grade than 6th, and there's a reason for it. It is a very common high school policy to require that students returning after absences turn in all their homework upon return. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Peapod, your son's teacher might be of the opinion that she's doing her students no favor if she "coddles" them by being lenient about the homework. If that's the way her thinking is going, I honestly can't fault her for that. And when your son is a high school freshman, her toughness will have made it easier for him to adapt. I know that in my daughter's high school, she is expected to get on the computer or the telephone and find out what the homework is. Unless she has a doctor's note explaining that she was physically unable to complete her homework, she is expected to have it done. Tough? Well, yes, but life is tough, and a policy like this turns out students who become hard workers able to overcome obstacles when they're in the college world, and later the business world.

 

[Miss Kitty]

I agree with you Mermaid...as long as the rule was clearly stated. We have survived our fair share of teacher problems over the years and one lesson it teaches is, that life is sometimes not fair.

Pea...I wouldn't want to tell you to start "talking" about teachers, but how about calling a friend to ask them the question of this policy? My kids always had time after returning to finish their work, unless of course it was an assignment made in advance of the illness.

 

[Cil]

Tough? Well, yes, but life is tough, and a policy like this turns out students who become hard workers able to overcome obstacles when they're in the college world, and later the business world.

Or it turns out kids who rebel, ditch class and finagle every step of the way through high school, like my older son during the nightmare of his adolescence. Then, when he got to college where the stakes were higher, he was accountable to himself rather than an attendance book, and there were far fewer rules and regulations, he rose to the occasion and ended up on the dean's list.

I don't understand how doing homework when you're sick makes for a productive middle school career, let alone sets you up well for high school.
It's hard enough being 12 or 13 without those sorts of homework rules.
Don't get me wrong, kids need boundaries. But to me, that homework rule seems dictatorial rather than meaningful.

 

[Mermaid]

Or it turns out kids who rebel, ditch class and finagle every step of the way through high school, like my older son during the nightmare of his adolescence. Then, when he got to college where the stakes were higher, he was accountable to himself rather than an attendance book, and there were far fewer rules and regulations, he rose to the occasion and ended up on the dean's list.

I don't understand how doing homework when you're sick makes for a productive middle school career, let alone sets you up well for high school.
It's hard enough being 12 or 13 without those sorts of homework rules.
Don't get me wrong, kids need boundaries. But to me, that homework rule seems dictatorial rather than meaningful.

Cil, I beg to differ. Your son probably would have still rebelled, ditched class and finagled no matter what the rules about homework were. I say this because I have a son who sounds remarkably similar, except for the dean's list part. Tell me, when did your son turn himself around? Mine is a freshman and I'm still waiting for the transformation to occur. Any insight is apreciated!

 

[Ocean Lover]

That's what I was thinking...when my kid is REALLY sick, no one in the household is concerned about calling the school to get assignments and getting him out of bed to actually complete them. When you're sick, you're sick. That's why you stay home, to rest. Making up the work within two days after being ill is reasonable. If it is a planned vacation, I can understand being required to get all assignments finished upon return to school. They're different. I'm with ya, peapod!

I agree S1, what if the child has the flu and has a fever for 5 days straight! This has happened to us and we had just as many days to make up the work. (K-6 Elem)

 

[kathydwells]

(Just don't let L.P. # 1 overhear your angst about this teacher. That'll end all respect that he may have, if any, for her.)

And that goes both way's. The teacher respecting the child. Let me tell you a little story about my son. In 5th grade, he had a young fresh out of college teacher. My son adored her. I really liked her, never had a problem with her, until, one day. It was 10:00 at night. I was watching tv. Jesse (my son) come's and sits down on the couch beside me. He had tears in his eyes. He asked me if he could talk to me about something, I told him sure anything. So, he proceeds to tell me this: Mom, at school today I was sitting by Mrs. Teacher's desk, and Cherie (a girl in his class) walks by my desk and calls me a "loser". He then said he turned around to Mrs. Teacher to tell her what the girl had said to him. Her reply to my son "The truth hurts doesn't it" (Not that it matters, but he is an A/B student). OMG, you talk about livid. It broke my son's heart to hear this teacher say this to him. I told him he was NOT a loser, and never would be. Not to ever feel like that. I told him that I would talk to Mrs. Teacher about it. He cried himself to sleep that night. I didn't sleep a wink. I was at that school at 7:00 in the morning waiting for Mrs. Teacher. When she walked in her room I was there and I was not happy. I asked why in the world would she call a 5th grade child a "loser". She turned a million shades of red, and told me how sorry she was, she didn't mean it like "that". I asked her how else she could have mean't it. She just kept back paddling. I told her that she broke Jesse's heart. That she, as a teacher should be a role model to her students and that she needed to learn that real quick. I told her a few other things as well, and by the time I was finished with her she was in tears. I told her Jesse deserved an apology from her and the girl, and that I would be standing there when they occured. She did, tearfully apologize to Jes. I think that she thought she could get away with this. Jesse never felt the same way about her again. However, I saw her a couple weeks later and she came up to me told me again, how sorry she was and that she had not had much sleep since the incident, and that what I said to her made her realize how much the kids looked up to her as a role model. She said it would never happen again. Ok, so this is really long, but my point is, teacher's should also respect our kids. I am so anal now about all of his teachers. I question him daily about his teachers and their dealings with him and the other kids. I will not tolerate a teacher, belittling, my child, and I expect him to respect them and treat them with kindness. Nuff said.

 

[peapod1980]

I agree with you Mermaid...as long as the rule was clearly stated. We have survived our fair share of teacher problems over the years and one lesson it teaches is, that life is sometimes not fair.

Right, like I said--I'll back down if I'm truly in the wrong here. But then I found all the syllabi from the junior high teachers, and not one of them--including the teacher trying to enforce this--has this policy stated. In fact, the make-up policies are all quite broad, not specific at all.

After talking to the principal, he assured me he'd spoken to her, and she would be calling me. She did, and the compromise they agreed on is to throw out the grade altogether. She says to accept the work late and give him full credit would be to go against their policy (sheesh, they love that word), and since he was truly too sick to complete it, the only fair thing to do is to do away with the grade altogether. She's said it will be as if the assignment never existed.

I'm just glad it's over.

 

[Rita]

KDW, Tears come to my eyes reading that. It should not have happened. One good thing that I suspect came from it though -- I bet that young teacher actually did learn from her mistake and is probably a much better teacher today because of that incident.

 

[Rudyjohn]

And that goes both way's. The teacher respecting the child. Let me tell you a little story about my son. In 5th grade, he had a young fresh out of college teacher. My son adored her. I really liked her, never had a problem with her, until, one day. It was 10:00 at night. I was watching tv. Jesse (my son) come's and sits down on the couch beside me. He had tears in his eyes. He asked me if he could talk to me about something, I told him sure anything. So, he proceeds to tell me this: Mom, at school today I was sitting by Mrs. Teacher's desk, and Cherie (a girl in his class) walks by my desk and calls me a "loser". He then said he turned around to Mrs. Teacher to tell her what the girl had said to him. Her reply to my son "The truth hurts doesn't it" (Not that it matters, but he is an A/B student). OMG, you talk about livid. It broke my son's heart to hear this teacher say this to him. I told him he was NOT a loser, and never would be. Not to ever feel like that. I told him that I would talk to Mrs. Teacher about it. He cried himself to sleep that night. I didn't sleep a wink. I was at that school at 7:00 in the morning waiting for Mrs. Teacher. When she walked in her room I was there and I was not happy. I asked why in the world would she call a 5th grade child a "loser". She turned a million shades of red, and told me how sorry she was, she didn't mean it like "that". I asked her how else she could have mean't it. She just kept back paddling. I told her that she broke Jesse's heart. That she, as a teacher should be a role model to her students and that she needed to learn that real quick. I told her a few other things as well, and by the time I was finished with her she was in tears. I told her Jesse deserved an apology from her and the girl, and that I would be standing there when they occured. She did, tearfully apologize to Jes. I think that she thought she could get away with this. Jesse never felt the same way about her again. However, I saw her a couple weeks later and she came up to me told me again, how sorry she was and that she had not had much sleep since the incident, and that what I said to her made her realize how much the kids looked up to her as a role model. She said it would never happen again. Ok, so this is really long, but my point is, teacher's should also respect our kids. I am so anal now about all of his teachers. I question him daily about his teachers and their dealings with him and the other kids. I will not tolerate a teacher, belittling, my child, and I expect him to respect them and treat them with kindness. Nuff said.

This is a sad story and hopefully, an extreme case. You were definately correct in standing behind Jesse 100% and speaking with her. You certainly weren't disrespectful and you taught her and your son a very varuable lesson. One none of you will ever forget. I'm hoping it was her "age" about her poor choice of words for a witty comeback. But, to me one of the worst things any human can do is belittle a child. One comment like that from an admired adult can be devastating to an innocent child. Those people are lower than the scum on a snake's belly. (That's why I would never let my child audition on Amer. Idol.)
Hooray for you to stand up for all the little children!