Another Tuesday Funny

[kathydwells]

Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.

Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . A limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner. . A marvelous dinner - lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show . . . Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... Two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . So you are telling me I shouldn't go
Out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."

 

[Gypsea]

Cute.

 

[kathydwells]

And Yet Another One.

TOP 5 SMART A** ANSWERS FOR 2005

Smart A** Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he
opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart A** Answer #4:

A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she couldn't
find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied," No ma'am they're dead."

Smart A** Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart A** Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR THE..........BEST ONE..#1 SMART A** ANSWER OF THE
YEAR 2005 .

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuse's
whatsoever!"

A smart a** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

 

[Rita]

:funn: Where do you get this stuff?!!

 

[ktmeadows]

 

[kathydwells]

:funn: Where do you get this stuff?!!

I have friends that supply me with my material.

 

[Miss Kitty]

I have friends that supply me with my material.

Those are some FUNNy friends, Darlene!!!

 

[kathydwells]

Those are some FUNNy friends, Darlene!!!

I surround myself with FUNN FUNNY people Miss Kitty....it make's me happy!!!!