I Guess if I'd make myself available, I might find that, "special someone"! I've had such lame excuses in men, I'm a little jaded! I've yet to meet many, with backbone! And what's up with men and their insecurities? When a woman looks pretty good and might be successful, they seem to be so threatened! No offense guys on this board, you're "the exception, I'm sure! I have a Yorkie named Twinky, that's given me so much joy! I've oftened said, "I'd rather be home playing with my Twinky"! 
So far, I've probably had lots more peace! Though I'm not gay, I find the following, interesting! Just sign me, STILL HOPEFUL! http://www.gaylinkcontent.com/story...fm?storyid=2079
Are You Jaded?
By Jesse Trautmann
Have you ever been called jaded before? I have been many times but I've always managed to dismiss these accusations with stride. If you're a sarcastic, slightly cynical and rather pessimistic individual such as myself it can be difficult to determine.
What is 'jaded' anyway? The dictionary reads: tired out or lacking enthusiasm after having had too much of something. The common social definition follows an all too familiar storyline. You've recently been dumped by your boyfriend (whom you loved so much) and you're out at a bar. You raise your glass and your friends join in as you make a toast to swear off men for good. Alas you are jaded.
Unfortunately this is only the tip of the iceberg. I've always categorized it as an emotion, like angry or sad, something you feel at a particular point in time. Emotions are instant reactions in which yourself as well as others are able to recognize immediately. Becoming jaded is a process that's undetectable until it's too late. It creeps up on you like vodka; you have a few not feeling anything, than bang, out of nowhere you're smashed.
This is when things can get out of control, more importantly out of your control. You suddenly have low self-esteem thinking no one is interested in you saying things like ' I don't believe in love' or ' I believe in love, but don't believe it can happen to me.' Being jaded is one's subconscious decision to be cut off from the rest of the world. You can physically be around other people but emotionally you're disconnected. Most people are in denial of there jadedness even when their friends, family, and dates call them on it. Even if you still have a social life with friends and have random short term relationships such as dating or casual sex this doesn't mean you're not jaded.
Excessive partying will help take your mind off things for a while but when the party's over rebounding with a bottle or pill leaves you worse off then when you started. Avoiding the problem will only make it worse.
There are many different forms and levels of jadedness one can 'suffer' from, and whether or not you pass the point of no return is entirely up to you. Here are some of the most common states of jadedness people experience and ways to beat them.
In Life
Do you constantly complain about your life, finding yourself consumed by the negative details of situations? Are you convinced that everyone is out to get you? Dating, trying to meet new people and keeping strong friendships with this outlook on life is impossible. There is a fine line between being jaded and being just plain bitter and if your friends roll their eyes every time you bring up a problem then you've definitely crossed it. Start thinking about you and how you can climb out of this hole. It's time to take care of money issues, the job you hate, family and or social stresses, health problems, pretty much anything and everything that's making you a total bi-ach. Keep in mind that these things take time but in the end you'll find yourself ready to take on a new day.
Bad Dates
So you've given up and finally decided to throw in the towel. After a string of bad dates with a troll, Mr. Boring and a narcissistic ahole you've reached you're boiling point and enough is enough. Sorry sweetie but this isn't a valid reason to give up, it's the perfect reason to keep on truckin'. The essence of dating is to endure awful ones because it equips you with a filtration system. This system helps you determine what you are looking for and more importantly what qualities and characteristics you don't want in a mate. Plus bad dates make for great stories to tell your friends during cocktail hour!
One Way Love
Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back can be the harshest form of being jaded. Usually this person is a close friend (who may or may not know your true feelings) whom you believe is the only one for you, so you wait, hoping that one day he will suddenly reciprocate the passion you feel. This 'he's the only one for me' trap keeps you in a constant state of jadedness because it stops you from giving other guys a real chance. Well it's time for a reality check; Give up! This may be one of the only instances in life were giving up is totally acceptable. The biggest obstacle with overcoming this situation is realizing you might have to lose a great friend in order to get over him, but sacrifices for your own emotional health must be made.
Cheated On
If you've been cheated on I offer two suggestions. Seek professional help or Lorena Bobbit, whichever one works better for you.
After a Breakup
In this category if you were the 'dumper' or if the breakup was truly mutual than you're off the hook but if you were the 'dumpee' this can be a serious catalyst for being jaded. You're heartbroken, helpless and howling at the moon every night now that you're alone and as time passes you stay this way believing there is no one else for you. What you have to realize is that you're not alone; millions of others are suffering from broken hearts too. It could be your boss, the person beside you on the subway, even Jennifer Lopez. We all get hurt but life moves on and so must you! Acknowledge the fact that you will miss your ex, so miss him, but stand your ground and do not give in. If you attempt to keep him in your life, even in small ways, you will remain jaded so here are the three big don'ts with an ex. 1) Drunken messages. It looks pathetic on your part, and not only will you regret it in the morning but the slurred message probably made little to no sense. 2) Compete. If you see him with someone new it doesn't mean you should be too. Don't feel you have something to prove. 3) Attempt to be friends. Maybe in time but for now your ability to move on involves him completely cut off. Remember out of sight, eventually out of heart.
Many people put themselves out there in what looks like an attempt to get back on the horse but really they're out there searching for someone to save them. This is a very unhealthy and unsuccessful way to try to move on with your life and get back in the game. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to date, in fact if you've been hurt by someone it's better to put dating on the back burner until you've fully healed. For some people plunging into new relationships as soon as possible works, but for most, including myself, it is damaging. There is a huge difference between being single and being available. It's ok to be jaded; it's a natural part of the healing process. Jaded attitudes can be overcome if you are strong enough to face them. When you confront the things that hurt you they lose their power. So embrace it as long as you plan on getting out of it.
So far, I've probably had lots more peace! Though I'm not gay, I find the following, interesting! Just sign me, STILL HOPEFUL! http://www.gaylinkcontent.com/story...fm?storyid=2079Are You Jaded?
By Jesse Trautmann
Have you ever been called jaded before? I have been many times but I've always managed to dismiss these accusations with stride. If you're a sarcastic, slightly cynical and rather pessimistic individual such as myself it can be difficult to determine.
What is 'jaded' anyway? The dictionary reads: tired out or lacking enthusiasm after having had too much of something. The common social definition follows an all too familiar storyline. You've recently been dumped by your boyfriend (whom you loved so much) and you're out at a bar. You raise your glass and your friends join in as you make a toast to swear off men for good. Alas you are jaded.
Unfortunately this is only the tip of the iceberg. I've always categorized it as an emotion, like angry or sad, something you feel at a particular point in time. Emotions are instant reactions in which yourself as well as others are able to recognize immediately. Becoming jaded is a process that's undetectable until it's too late. It creeps up on you like vodka; you have a few not feeling anything, than bang, out of nowhere you're smashed.
This is when things can get out of control, more importantly out of your control. You suddenly have low self-esteem thinking no one is interested in you saying things like ' I don't believe in love' or ' I believe in love, but don't believe it can happen to me.' Being jaded is one's subconscious decision to be cut off from the rest of the world. You can physically be around other people but emotionally you're disconnected. Most people are in denial of there jadedness even when their friends, family, and dates call them on it. Even if you still have a social life with friends and have random short term relationships such as dating or casual sex this doesn't mean you're not jaded.
Excessive partying will help take your mind off things for a while but when the party's over rebounding with a bottle or pill leaves you worse off then when you started. Avoiding the problem will only make it worse.
There are many different forms and levels of jadedness one can 'suffer' from, and whether or not you pass the point of no return is entirely up to you. Here are some of the most common states of jadedness people experience and ways to beat them.
In Life
Do you constantly complain about your life, finding yourself consumed by the negative details of situations? Are you convinced that everyone is out to get you? Dating, trying to meet new people and keeping strong friendships with this outlook on life is impossible. There is a fine line between being jaded and being just plain bitter and if your friends roll their eyes every time you bring up a problem then you've definitely crossed it. Start thinking about you and how you can climb out of this hole. It's time to take care of money issues, the job you hate, family and or social stresses, health problems, pretty much anything and everything that's making you a total bi-ach. Keep in mind that these things take time but in the end you'll find yourself ready to take on a new day.
Bad Dates
So you've given up and finally decided to throw in the towel. After a string of bad dates with a troll, Mr. Boring and a narcissistic ahole you've reached you're boiling point and enough is enough. Sorry sweetie but this isn't a valid reason to give up, it's the perfect reason to keep on truckin'. The essence of dating is to endure awful ones because it equips you with a filtration system. This system helps you determine what you are looking for and more importantly what qualities and characteristics you don't want in a mate. Plus bad dates make for great stories to tell your friends during cocktail hour!
One Way Love
Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back can be the harshest form of being jaded. Usually this person is a close friend (who may or may not know your true feelings) whom you believe is the only one for you, so you wait, hoping that one day he will suddenly reciprocate the passion you feel. This 'he's the only one for me' trap keeps you in a constant state of jadedness because it stops you from giving other guys a real chance. Well it's time for a reality check; Give up! This may be one of the only instances in life were giving up is totally acceptable. The biggest obstacle with overcoming this situation is realizing you might have to lose a great friend in order to get over him, but sacrifices for your own emotional health must be made.
Cheated On
If you've been cheated on I offer two suggestions. Seek professional help or Lorena Bobbit, whichever one works better for you.
After a Breakup
In this category if you were the 'dumper' or if the breakup was truly mutual than you're off the hook but if you were the 'dumpee' this can be a serious catalyst for being jaded. You're heartbroken, helpless and howling at the moon every night now that you're alone and as time passes you stay this way believing there is no one else for you. What you have to realize is that you're not alone; millions of others are suffering from broken hearts too. It could be your boss, the person beside you on the subway, even Jennifer Lopez. We all get hurt but life moves on and so must you! Acknowledge the fact that you will miss your ex, so miss him, but stand your ground and do not give in. If you attempt to keep him in your life, even in small ways, you will remain jaded so here are the three big don'ts with an ex. 1) Drunken messages. It looks pathetic on your part, and not only will you regret it in the morning but the slurred message probably made little to no sense. 2) Compete. If you see him with someone new it doesn't mean you should be too. Don't feel you have something to prove. 3) Attempt to be friends. Maybe in time but for now your ability to move on involves him completely cut off. Remember out of sight, eventually out of heart.
Many people put themselves out there in what looks like an attempt to get back on the horse but really they're out there searching for someone to save them. This is a very unhealthy and unsuccessful way to try to move on with your life and get back in the game. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to date, in fact if you've been hurt by someone it's better to put dating on the back burner until you've fully healed. For some people plunging into new relationships as soon as possible works, but for most, including myself, it is damaging. There is a huge difference between being single and being available. It's ok to be jaded; it's a natural part of the healing process. Jaded attitudes can be overcome if you are strong enough to face them. When you confront the things that hurt you they lose their power. So embrace it as long as you plan on getting out of it.
:rofl:
