Funny story/joke about consultants

[skier]

Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race.
>Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before
>the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
>
>Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed.
>American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be
>found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to
>investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the
>Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team
>had 8 people steering and one person rowing.
>
>So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an
>incredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were steering
>the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the
>Japanese again next year, the American rowing team's management structure
>was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering
>superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also
>implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing
>the
>boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team
>Quality
>First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. New
>paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised if the Americans won.
>We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality
>program.
>
>The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American
>management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a
>new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new
>equipment. The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as a
>bonus.

 

[OhioBeachBum]

Heard that one before, but still funny - until you do the reality double-take if you're a corporate amerika resident [wait a minute, did somebody in my office fuel that last Dilbert cartoon?]

 

[OhioBeachBum]

Since we've started funnies early this week, here's another:

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

• She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
• Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
• Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
• Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
• And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

 

[RiverOtter]

to the lounge Skier

 

[wetwilly]

Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race.
>Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before
>the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
>
>Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed.
>American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be
>found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to
>investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the
>Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team
>had 8 people steering and one person rowing.
>
>So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an
>incredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were steering
>the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the
>Japanese again next year, the American rowing team's management structure
>was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering
>superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also
>implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing
>the
>boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team
>Quality
>First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. New
>paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised if the Americans won.
>We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality
>program.
>
>The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American
>management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a
>new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new
>equipment. The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as a
>bonus.

Funny but scary how accurate. Anyone see the movie Office Space? Histerical and very close to some reality in corporate america. "Did you get the memo about the "new" TPS reports....". "Skills....I have people skills...".