"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for choosing to fly BigO Airlines, my name is 30-gAy and I will be your cabin steward.
At this time I want to draw your attention to all the exits, .....or entrances, depending on your sexual orientation.
Let me also point out some safety features of the aircraft and let you know that your seat can be used both as a flotation device and a padded headboard.
In the event of a loss of pressure, or inhibitions, certain things may drop down ....please place any dangling objects on your face and breathe normally.
As we are about to get off, I would like to ask all passengers to return each other to an upright position.
Thank you again for choosing to fly the very friendly skies.
The organizers are obviously part of the "free love" generation and, god bless 'em, still young at heart. Gives us all hope, huh?