See the posting under the general SoWal threads about what if SoWal was an 18 mile spa. It will give you an idea of things to do, much of which would be great (grayt) fun as a couple. There are many different kinds of places to stay in, from very fancy on the beach (pricy but most would be amazing) to less expensive, not directly on the beach, and very nice. It depends where you want to spend your money. Some of our posters have places at High Pointe which has views, Rosemary Beach, Seaside, Watersound. All have bars and pools within the community, probably heated pools which is nice when the weather is a bit cooler. Try RiverOtter's posts for High Pointe with a view. There are some private places with heated pools as well -- see if you can find posts by RatherBPaddlin because he has two homes and they may have heated pools (but the bar would be in the house since they are private homes).
No shortage of great restaurants, fancy and simple, along 30A. People love Red Bar in Grayton, D&K in Grayton, and others -- these two seem to be sure "hits" but there are others.
October begins the Monarch butterfly migration.
No specific gay/straight places -- everyone hangs out with everyone anywhere as far as I know.