Just a Funny

[Kaydence]

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."
The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The third surgeon shut them up when he said, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable..."

 

[ottomatik]

Christmas Barbie

Coming towards Christmas a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that his daughter asked Santa for a Barbie for Christmas.
He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the salesperson, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95,Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,Astronaut Barbie for$19.95,Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It 's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
'Sir...Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's car,Ken's house, Ken's boat,
Ken's furniture, Ken's computer, one of Ken's friends, and a key chain with Ken's balls

 

[Bob Wells]

 

[PoppaJ]

What does Roy Moore enjoy most about dating twenty eight year old girls.
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There are twenty of them.

 

[Lake View Too]

 

[Lake View Too]

 

[Lake View Too]

 

[ottomatik]

Words with Double meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male....... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male....... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........ Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male........ Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter- tayn-ment) n.
Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male....... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male....... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male....... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male....... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND

He said....... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said.... You wear pants, don't you?

He said...... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said.... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said...... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said.... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

[PoppaJ]

 

[Leader of the Banned]