Just finished moving my mother into assisted living. While the head knows it is the best place, the heart is not as happy. Really tired and trying to decide if a margarita would help. Tomorrow will be better.
long day
- Thread starter iwishiwasthere
- Start date
-
Trouble logging in? Send us a message with your username and/or email address for help.
I margarita always helps; so sorry you had to place your mom, that's a stressful decision and stressful move. I'm sure she'll receive the care she needs and will enjoy the company of others. In my career, I've spent a lot of time at assisted living facilities and the people I've worked with really enjoy living there-sometimes it's a bit of an adjustment period before they enjoy it but they do. I'm sending you and your momma good thoughts!
I feel your pain.
April 2000 -- moved Mom out of our family home and into a one-floor home in retirement community (no assisted living) to avoid stairs and another hip fracture. Sold our childhood memories in the move from the big house to the new one. Very traumatic for us all.
Fall 2005 -- her dementia got so bad that she needed in-home care between when she got up and went to bed.
Fall 2007 -- she fell and broke her hip; after surgery we moved her into a rehab facility; moved her to assisted living afterwards; she didn't like it. But brother and I can't quit our jobs and sister lives in Dallas.
Spring 2009 -- she almost died from a blood clot in her heart; we were told she would die within days; moved her to hospice; docs took her off meds.
Late Spring 2009 -- she got too well to be in hospice and was put back on meds; we moved her into a nursing home which she had made us promise never to do to her.
Winter 2009-2010 -- she started complaining about being in a nursing home.
Spring 2010 -- she got too well to be in a nursing home. We moved her into a really nice assisted living facility near her home.
Late Summer 2010 -- we plan to have someone stay with her on the weekends at her actual home so she can see her old friends. Unfortunately she can't move back home full-time because to have 24/7 care in a private residence costs $130,000 a year around here.
It breaks our hearts that we have not been able to respect her wishes, but we had no idea how much it would cost to take care of an Alzheimer's victim for so many years in the manner that she'd prefer.
Hang in there! Trust me, my sister and I have had many glasses of La Crema while sleeping on the floor or in two chairs put together next to Mom in hospitals and hospice and rehab and assisted living and nursing homes and trying to decide what is best for her. Brother was there, too, but he doesn't drink Chardonnay.;-)
April 2000 -- moved Mom out of our family home and into a one-floor home in retirement community (no assisted living) to avoid stairs and another hip fracture. Sold our childhood memories in the move from the big house to the new one. Very traumatic for us all.
Fall 2005 -- her dementia got so bad that she needed in-home care between when she got up and went to bed.
Fall 2007 -- she fell and broke her hip; after surgery we moved her into a rehab facility; moved her to assisted living afterwards; she didn't like it. But brother and I can't quit our jobs and sister lives in Dallas.
Spring 2009 -- she almost died from a blood clot in her heart; we were told she would die within days; moved her to hospice; docs took her off meds.
Late Spring 2009 -- she got too well to be in hospice and was put back on meds; we moved her into a nursing home which she had made us promise never to do to her.
Winter 2009-2010 -- she started complaining about being in a nursing home.
Spring 2010 -- she got too well to be in a nursing home. We moved her into a really nice assisted living facility near her home.
Late Summer 2010 -- we plan to have someone stay with her on the weekends at her actual home so she can see her old friends. Unfortunately she can't move back home full-time because to have 24/7 care in a private residence costs $130,000 a year around here.
It breaks our hearts that we have not been able to respect her wishes, but we had no idea how much it would cost to take care of an Alzheimer's victim for so many years in the manner that she'd prefer.
Hang in there! Trust me, my sister and I have had many glasses of La Crema while sleeping on the floor or in two chairs put together next to Mom in hospitals and hospice and rehab and assisted living and nursing homes and trying to decide what is best for her. Brother was there, too, but he doesn't drink Chardonnay.;-)
Thinking of you iwiwt. 
Thanks...made the margarita and am enjoying it. The worst was the tears in her eyes when we left. Similar to daycare with your child...oh, she is a child again!
Life...always an adventure. A night's rest will do wonders. Keep sending stories.
BR....sorry about all your mom's challenges. Mine does not want a nursing home either. We hope her memory is gone by then.
Life...always an adventure. A night's rest will do wonders. Keep sending stories.
BR....sorry about all your mom's challenges. Mine does not want a nursing home either. We hope her memory is gone by then.
God luv ya. I know how difficult this can be. I see it every day. I'm fortunate/unfortunate that I'll never have to do it personally. I promise it will get better though. Have another margarita.
Can't have another...the first was a double
So I hope you sleep well then. I think many of us are reaching the age where the new "normal" is your story. I just sighed for you... take care.
Sending hugs your way.
2 months ago we moved my grandma into assisted living. (she will be 98 on Friday) It was something we had been talking about for a few years, but after a few close calls with her not taking her medication properly and a few mishaps in the kitchen, we knew it was time.
For the first 3 weeks we kept 2nd guessing ourselves because she seemed to withdraw and become very needy and week. She would shuffle her feet instead of walking...little things like that. But the staff and her social worker said that was very normal...don't freak out about it. Well they were right. Little by little the more comfortable she got there, the more confident she became. We all feel better about it now and she is actually enjoying herself. It's hard to find her in her room now!
Sorry for rambling....I guess my point is...hang in there and give you mom time, be there for her when she needs you, this is a big adjustment for everyone but trust me, it will be better.
2 months ago we moved my grandma into assisted living. (she will be 98 on Friday) It was something we had been talking about for a few years, but after a few close calls with her not taking her medication properly and a few mishaps in the kitchen, we knew it was time.
For the first 3 weeks we kept 2nd guessing ourselves because she seemed to withdraw and become very needy and week. She would shuffle her feet instead of walking...little things like that. But the staff and her social worker said that was very normal...don't freak out about it. Well they were right. Little by little the more comfortable she got there, the more confident she became. We all feel better about it now and she is actually enjoying herself. It's hard to find her in her room now!
Sorry for rambling....I guess my point is...hang in there and give you mom time, be there for her when she needs you, this is a big adjustment for everyone but trust me, it will be better.
