Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
> take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> The winners are:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
> the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ahole.
>
> 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
> until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that
> stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
> shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
> purpose of getting sex.
>
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
> the person who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
> late.
>
> 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
> 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
> credit.)
>
> 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these
> really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious
> bummer.
>
> 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
> day consuming only things that are good for you
>
> 14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
> when they come at you rapidly.
>
> 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
> after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
> into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
> worm in the fruit you're eating.
>
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions
> to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
> meanings for common words.
>
> And the winners are:
>
> 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight
> one has gained.
>
> 3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat
> stomach.
>
> 4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
>
> 6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when
> wearing only a nightgown.
>
> 7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
> has been run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
> proctologists.
>
> 13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with
> Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul
> flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
> by Jewish men.
>
> take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> The winners are:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
> the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ahole.
>
> 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
> until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that
> stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
> shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
> purpose of getting sex.
>
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
> the person who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
> late.
>
> 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
> 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
> credit.)
>
> 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these
> really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious
> bummer.
>
> 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
> day consuming only things that are good for you
>
> 14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
> when they come at you rapidly.
>
> 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
> after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
> into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
> worm in the fruit you're eating.
>
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions
> to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
> meanings for common words.
>
> And the winners are:
>
> 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight
> one has gained.
>
> 3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat
> stomach.
>
> 4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
>
> 6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when
> wearing only a nightgown.
>
> 7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
> has been run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
> proctologists.
>
> 13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with
> Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul
> flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
> by Jewish men.
>
...those are awesome!
