Philosophy for Life - What is Yours?

[RiverOtter]

And the opposite.

My policy is a matter of record and my record is a matter of policy.

 

[Mike B.]

CJ,

Explain to me why I should love heartache and what I am going to gain from it. Me and the surfer girl (Kurt should remember me talking about her some time back) broke up about a month and a half ago, with the possibility of getting back together. She was finalizing a divorce when we started dating and realized she wasnt ready to give 100% to another relationship yet, which I can understand being as I am divorced. YET being the key word. So I now wait in limbo and wonder if I should be... Every day since has sucked. What philosophy do you have for this one?

 

[RiverOtter]

CJ,

Explain to me why I should love heartache and what I am going to gain from it. Me and the surfer girl (Kurt should remember me talking about her some time back) broke up about a month and a half ago, with the possibility of getting back together. She was finalizing a divorce when we started dating and realized she wasnt ready to give 100% to another relationship yet, which I can understand being as I am divorced. YET being the key word. So I now wait in limbo and wonder if I should be... Every day since has sucked. What philosophy do you have for this one?

Mike... Move on... Don't move into the "Friend" Zone. You move into that zone and she's gone forever.

 

[seagrovelover]

Mike, I agree with the otter, move on and find some happiness... life is too damn short to wait around for something that may or may not be ;-)

 

[ktmeadows]

Mike, I agree with the otter, move on and find some happiness... life is too damn short to wait around for something that may or may not be ;-)

I love your new avitar, seagrovelover...go Cardinals!! :clap_1:

Mike - I agree with seagrovelover and the otter....don't waste your time waiting around. As the saying goes "If you love something, set it free. If it doesnt return it was never meant to be, though if it does love it forever!"

Sounds like you're a really nice guy. Unfortunately, usually the first relationship during or immediately after a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship ends up being a "transitional relationship". Sounds like she is still trying to get over her divorce and not ready to move on to another relationship. If you try to date her now, you could very well become her transition boyfriend while she's grieving the end of her marriage, and the experts say that transition relationships almost never work out. I wouldn't try to push myself on her. If down the road she contacts you and expresses interest in a relationship, you can decide at that time if you're still interested. My advice, for what it's worth, is to try to get her out of your mind and move on.

Good luck Mike!

 

[Mike B.]

Easier said then done. Part of the reason we broke up is because she didnt want this to be like a transitional relationship. They were seperated for 10 months and she had dated two other people before me. We talked today and she basically said what you guys are telling me. She's doing this so that if we do get back together it wont die within months. It just sucks. She's the first girl I cared about in the three years since my divorce. Oh well, time will tell... I just feel like I shouldnt give up on something that could be great. You know? It's hard being a school boy who hopes and dreams all the time.

 

[Smiling JOe]

Hang in there Mike B. Love hurts.

 

[Mike B.]

Thus my theory that women are evil!!! :laughing1

Just kidding...

 

[Landlocked]

Thus my theory that women are evil!!! :laughing1

Just kidding...

They can be. Especially to each other. You ever watched two little girls playing? That can get evil for sure.

 

[OhioBeachBum]

They can be. Especially to each other. You ever watched two little girls playing? That can get evil for sure.

Ooooh - you're gonna get a thumpin' when the ladies wake up.
(based on rasing a daughter and a son though, I think you're in the ballpark ;-) )