Snappy comebacks

[rapunzel]

In the last two days I've received several political smear emails. I've been trying to think of witty replies. Here's my most recent:

"Thanks! I almost always make my voting decisions based on hateful partisan viral emails. This will come in really handy! Do you perhaps know of a multi-level marketing scheme in which I might invest as well?"

I was thinking it might be fun to share some ideas on how to respond to these nasty little boogers.

 

[Alicia Leonard]

In the last two days I've received several political smear emails. I've been trying to think of witty replies. Here's my most recent:

"Thanks! I almost always make my voting decisions based on hateful partisan viral emails. This will come in really handy! Do you perhaps know of a multi-level marketing scheme in which I might invest as well?"

I was thinking it might be fun to share some ideas on how to respond to these nasty little boogers.

Email, I just delete. Phone calls I tell them they have to listen to me sing before I will listen to their pitch. They hang up rather quickly

Or maybe you could tell them you are still waiting for the mothership to beam their voting choice down to you. Sorry, the last two days of rain have made me wackier than usual.

 

[Miss Kitty]

...I am always at a loss when it comes to snappy comebacks.

Actually, yesterday I picked up an 866 phone call...it was my electric company telling me thank you for being such a valued customer. :roll: She then tried to get me to sign up for some program that would entitle me to a 1% cash back Visa card based on my electric usage. I laughed and told her not to bother and to just lower my rate. She laughed with me and told me she would pass my message on. What a crock!

 

[rapunzel]

BTW -- these emails aren't coming from candidates....they are the ones that come out of nowhere and people just forward them on....you know, the "McCain is crazy from being a POW and has a black daughter" one, the "Barack Hussein Obama plans to serve malt liquor and chicken at the Inauguration" things.

 

[Miss Kitty]

BTW -- these emails aren't coming from candidates....they are the ones that come out of nowhere and people just forward them on....you know, the "McCain is crazy from being a POW and has a black daughter" one, the "Barack Hussein Obama plans to serve malt liquor and chicken at the Inauguration" things.

People you know???

 

[elgordoboy]

When telemarketers would ask for the man of the house then the woman of the house then ask "Well just to whom am I speaking?" my Dad would respond "the burglar" and that he was just passing through. But as far as e-mails I would ignore them as anything you have to say will make no difference to the sender unless you suggest that you are going to make sure their tongues are ripped out of their throats by the roots or some such. But doing that has its own repercussions. Scary is heeded more than witty yet scary is actionable.

 

[Alicia Leonard]

BTW -- these emails aren't coming from candidates....they are the ones that come out of nowhere and people just forward them on....you know, the "McCain is crazy from being a POW and has a black daughter" one, the "Barack Hussein Obama plans to serve malt liquor and chicken at the Inauguration" things.

Delete, Delete, Delete.........except for one like that I sent back with all three candidates voting records attached. Didn't get a response. Sometimes I send the link to snopes.com

 

[elgordoboy]

People you know???

If this is true then it changes my previous posting and witty responses can surely be composed. Forward all your e-mails to Shelly and once he gets fed up you can then forward all of Shelly's responses to you back to the people who originally sent the e-mails your way. Problem solved.

 

[Mango]

Here's my usual boilerplate response:

Barring any acts of cannabilism, writing a book with Tom Cruise, verifiable DNA evidence my candidate is a direct descendent of aliens living underground at Area 51 bent on destruction of the universe, or turns into a werewolf during full moons, I have already made a decision about a candidate. Even if the above does prove true, it won't possibly be as scary as your fearmongering and uninformed diatribe.

 

[Alicia Leonard]

Here's my usual boilerplate response:

Barring any acts of cannabilism, writing a book with Tom Cruise, verifiable DNA evidence my candidate is a direct descendent of aliens living underground at Area 51 bent on destruction of the universe, or turns into a werewolf during full moons, I have already made a decision about a candidate. Even if the above does prove true, it won't possibly be as scary as your fearmongering and uniformed diatrabe.

Or in other words, "Bite Me."