The Washcloth

[Landlocked]

Amen to escaping the cubicle! I'm stuck in mine for another 53 minutes...

Gopher people!

 

[ktmeadows]

Okay, my day's almost over as well, so I guess I can "legally" post

Here's another good old Catholic joke (not meant to offend anyone....I'm a Catholic girl myself ) I've cleaned up some of the words lest they be on the censored list :laughing1

Catholic Girls
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all
perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.
Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any
contact with a man's privates ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water
and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you
ever had any contact with a man's privates?
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and
stroked one."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass
through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls,
one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What
seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water,
I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her rear end in it!"

 

[Mike B.]

I'm Catholic too! Funny joke!

29 minutes till freedom! And then 1.5 hours of softball practice in the 96 degree heat...

 

[graytonrbust]

Farmer John's Problem"

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. That really sped them up.
So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers... " So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

"NUDIST COLONY"

*** Go slow and watch out for the Chicks ***

 

[Smiling JOe]

Farmer John's Problem"

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. That really sped them up.
So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers... " So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

"NUDIST COLONY"

*** Go slow and watch out for the Chicks ***

Just what I needed.

 

[kathydwells]

graytonrbust.....now that was funny.


SJ, love your new tag line!!!!!!