Okay...so I work at a an all-boy school, and one of my little men commented on Oprah Winfrey's position as a man-hater a few days ago. We also talked a bit about the book that recently came out (I can't remember the title and I'm too lazy to look it up) that says 72% of women think their husbands are incompetent.
MEANWHILE, I'm also caring for a friend who recently left her husband. (She should have done it a long time ago--he's borderline abusive. Even so, this is a marriage that can be rehabilitated.) Suddenly, she's even more attentive to my long-suffering status as chronically single. Lots of calls and messages about, "Oh my gosh! How can you stand this? Men are so crazy! Why do we like them?!"
But we're not going to change this mess, right?
I propose that we return to the original spirit of this thread rather than continue with the man bashing. Granted, the original subject turned out to be a complete turd. As for the fella in my life, I'm not going to 1) figure him out or 2) fix him. (Time and patience will sort it out one way or another. Those of you who know me have probably figured out that I'm not exactly patient, but I'm determined to learn a new trick.)
Even so, there are some wonderful men out there. Last night I went to a dance with my little men and spent 2 1/2 hours breaking up all the little clusters of boys, pushing them to go talk to the people in skirts. I was impressed with some of the results. Of course, they had some wonderful role models--our Commandant of cadets who is a stereotypical Marine in many ways, adores his wife in a way that belongs in a Jane Austen novel. The President and his Executive Assistant, also Marines, are almost as gooey. I only mention that because it makes me realize that romance is still alive, and that it isn't at all unmasculine.
So--what in the world are we looking for? Is it realistic? Like Allifunn so CORRECTLY stated, the "you complete me" mess is just stupid. An incomplete single person will make an incomplete married person. As Lynnie said, there are some great married couples out there. The most extreme example I know is my own parents, but as I get older I see more and more that it wasn't easy even for them. They had some hard-and-fast principles that they set when they were young and in love that got them through the times when they were worn out, stressed out, and not in the mood for love. (One was that they NEVER mention the "d" word, even as a joke. Never. Another is that my family NEVER talks about another member of the family behind his/her back, and my parents were particularly united in this--as a kid it never worked for me to go to Mom and say, "You know what Dad did/said?" and vice-versa. They always backed each other up.)
Married people (whether it is recognized by the government or not)--do you have some of these principles? Were they part of the hunt for your other, or did it just work out? Single people--are you as lost as me on this?
(Allifunn, some days I'm as content as you are. A lot of days, in fact...the thing that squashes it is the dread of being alone once my folks are gone. I like families.)
Discuss. I need a nap.
