A parent's gotta vent sometimes...

[ShallowsNole]

All I can say about this whole thread is WOW.

With a very sensitive 7th grader, I feel for Pea #1...and KD's story broke my heart.

The only thing harder than being a preteen or adolescent is being the parent of one...and we just can't make all the bad things go away anymore.

 

[ktschris]

You think that's bad?? This is what the junior high policy was at our kids' Catholic school: if they committed X number of infractions, it became a penalty. I can't even remember what the name of the penalty is because we're so far removed from grade school now. It's the one where you have to go to school outside of school hours and write a million times "I will not misbehave" or something like that. Usually it's AFTER school.

This is what a Catholic school does to you. If your kid has the penalty, he or she has to be at school at 7:30 am sharp, personally escorted there by the parent.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I am wholeheartedly, emphatically, and irretriveably NOT a morning person. I had to bring my son to school ONCE at 7:30 am, and he never, ever, put me in the position of having to do it again.

It was no punishment for the kid, he didn't care, but man o man, it nearly killed me.

I feel your pain...it is a Cathloic School. And she's 5!! Did I mention her brother doesn't have 4 tardies and they go to the same school?

 

[Paula]

Oh stop! Please!

It's not the grades you make, it's the hands you shake boys and girls. ;-)

We teach our kids that it's both. You need to have mastery at what you do so you can do it well (and I bet you are very good at what you do, Kimmifun). And you need to have to be good at developing relationships if you want to be able to do what you do well to the best of your ability and to have an impact (and I bet you're really good at this, too, Kimmifun).

Grades in school don't necessarily predict predict in life though I think everyone has a responsibility to live up to their abilities. In fact, if a student gets too dependent on getting good grades to get by, they may not learn other critical skills (like shaking hands and building relationships, boys and girls, bouncing back from failure, working really hard even though it may not pay off in a grade or immediately reward, dealing with authority whether you like them or not) that matter a lot as well. They think their expertise will be noticed and will get them by. On the other hand, people who have great social skills but don't really master an area will do fine up to a point, but then the lack of mastery is likely to backfire. They're called empty suits (all the right moves, but no depth).

Most importantly, going back to the origin of this thread, one of the most important things is to take time to learn good lessons from both good or bad experiences.

These are fun discussions...

 

[SHELLY]

Since we're venting....

I just got a letter from my kids school. It seems my 5 year old has 4 tardies this year. They just wanted me to be aware of that because on your 6th tardy, you are sent home for the day. And if you are ever tardy again (for the year) you are sent home. Now, I understand the importance of being on time, her tardies are like 30 seconds late. Not minutes, seconds!!! And she's five, it's not her fault she's 30 seconds late, it's mine!! BTW, I don't think a day off for any kid would really be a punishment!

I understand entirely:

1 - Kid is tardy
2 - You state: "She's five, its not her fault she's 30 seconds late, it's mine!!"
3 - Kid is given the day off as "punishment"

Translation: YOU are the one being punished by the school. It's your fault so you've gotta have the kid home all day.

 

[Mermaid]

I understand entirely:

1 - Kid is tardy
2 - You state: "She's five, its not her fault she's 30 seconds late, it's mine!!"
3 - Kid is given the day off as "punishment"

Translation: YOU are the one being punished by the school. It's your fault so you've gotta have the kid home all day.

We had that one figured out long before you, SHELLY. :funn:

 

[bsmart]

You're right. Interesting way of looking at it, audie.
I can't tell you how many times she stressed that "all the junior high" teachers do the same thing. So, you know what? I just went and got out the folder I put together at the beginning of every school year that has all kinds of school information in it, and I found her syllabus for the school year, and this supposed hard and fast rule isn't in there. What's there is that she expects students who are absent to find out what work was assigned while they were gone. And the syllabi from other teachers pretty much state the same thing--work is expected to be made up. Nowhere is there any mention that a student is expected to return to school completely caught up on assignments. This makes me so mad.

Get'em Peapod, rules are made to be broken. I hated junior high, it was the worst 3 years of my life and I mean it. The kids are cruel to each other and to make matters worse you have to put up with crap like this.

 

[audie]

in grade school my mom dropped my off on her way to work and she is chronically late. i got called to the principal's office about my tardies and he said he was going to call my mom and discuss it with her. i told him i wished he would so she would quit making me late. to this day i believe that is the reason why i am at least 20 mins early for every appointment !

 

[Ocean Lover]

Get'em Peapod, rules are made to be broken. I hated junior high, it was the worst 3 years of my life and I mean it. The kids are cruel to each other and to make matters worse you have to put up with crap like this.

Makes me look forward to next year even more. :roll:

 

[audie]

Get'em Peapod, rules are made to be broken. I hated junior high, it was the worst 3 years of my life and I mean it. The kids are cruel to each other and to make matters worse you have to put up with crap like this.

i hated junior high, but i despised high school. nothing makes my day more than to see a member of the "in crowd" who is now fat and bloated like me. does that make me a mean person ? oh well, i can live with that ;-)

 

[SHELLY]

Here's his explanation:
"I understand that I am extremely off track right now with all my classes...I'm just very overwhelmed with my clasess, especially my calculus class. ( I hate it, and it hates me!!!) I currently have 4 F's, so you can imagine my frustration and sense of emergency. I am planning on graduating in May! But obviously only if I can get these grades up."

I don't routinely go to such extremes.
It would have made me very sad if his plans had evaporated because I didn't do everything I could to help the young man help himself. Call me a sentimental old fool if you'd like.

You sound like you have a heart of gold and it was fortunate for this young man that you let him graduate. But are the classes taught by a "sentimental old fool" REALLY that difficult to merit this young man getting an "F" in ALL 3 of them if he honestly "studied" like he said? I doubt it. I'm a product of the old school (can't ya tell?) and I viewed his "excuse" for getting 4 "Fs" going into graduation totally without merit....."I hate calculus and it hates me!" ???? PA-LEEZE!

You're a hero to this young man (as you well should be)...but what transpired and was observed by 3 classrooms full of students--most of who gave at least 10% effort in your classes and managed at least a "C" (not to mention those "A & B" types)--probably created a buzz on campus.

Coming from someone with current campus experience: Work toward turning this incident around quickly before your classes become a draw for sleeping, text-messaging, tardy, and absent students who are experts at writing good (or not-so-good) last-ditch sob stories.