1) Y'all are weird. Puppy breath?! Ewwww.
2) He isn't drinking turd-flavored coffee--it's not his breath that smells. Actually, his breath used to smell like coffee, but now no one can even get close enough to him to find out if he has coffee breath because he smells like an old outhouse.
I don't drink coffee, but I love the way it smells whether it is flavored or just the plain ol' Maxwell House my dad drinks. I can even tolerate coffee breath on a normal person who otherwise has good hygiene. This dude STINKS.