Commentary on Phelps and Pot...

[Teresa]

Thx for the kind words about my sweet babies.

Only time will tell how I view the world in 10 years. But on this subject I am not expecting any grand reversal in thought. I will work hard to help my kids achieve a balanced, reasonable, healthy outlook on this subject and any other. I believe my approach/attitude on this subject will serve my kids well.

Don't get me wrong. I am not PRO pot. I am ANTI anti pot.


I don't want anyone feeding it to my kids. I just don't want them to lose perspective about it. Demonizing this plant and people who use it to relax does not serve our children. Research shows that pot isn't bad and that our laws, policies and campaigns are untrue and frankly, do not work. The truth is out there about why a plant became illlegal and who was behind it. Why is this ignored? I believe that there are many sheep in this country (I am not speaking directly to anyone on this thread). They feel a certain way about something only because they believe they are supposed to. Sad.

NoHall, I agree with you that our children need heroes but I believe we need to stop pointing them in the direction of athletes and entertainers. Phelps is a swimmer. Just because SI put him on the cover in no way means he is now responsible to other people's kids. Because he went faster than the other 20 year olds in the pool and has our government's symbols on his swimcap doesn't mean that he lost his integrity when he inhaled from a waterbottle.

this post is beautiful. Phelps is quite humbled right now (I hear he's talking about not competing in next Olympics - but I hope he's just being a big ole baby and will get over it. apparently, his sponsors are very much behind him), but nothing can take away what he has achieved, and what he can still achieve in his life. He is still a great athlete and role model - at least we know he isn't perfect. I think I like him better than I did before. He seems a lot more real to me now.



I would like to add one thing about parents who complain about what they should say to their children when their big role model has fallen from grace. I can only say what I think and do with my child. Such as using the situation to teach these things: reserving judgement, having empathy with others, using kind and understanding words. Reflect on the situaiton and discuss what you would have done in his shoes - but not necessarily saying it is what he should have done (you can only control your own actions), use the situation to discuss drugs in general, talk about some of the great celebrities and athletes of our time and how pressure sometimes effects their lives, talk about how people cope with stress in general, talk about how people can learn from their mistakes and end up being a much better person. Talk about how he must be feeling right now after his humiliation in the media. There is much to learn from Michael Phelps, from his dedication and incredible athletic gifts, his achievements, and his personal decisions. The fact that he is great. The fact that he is human and thus fallible.

 

[LuciferSam]

Interesting advice from a guy slobbin on Obama for the last year.

I would have supported the Obama with or without the media hype. I wish all decisions were that easy. No regrets. Somehow I doubt you've ever uttered those two words.

 

[Danny Burns]

I would like to add one thing about parents who complain about what they should say to their children when their big role model has fallen from grace. I can only say what I think and do with my child. Such as using the situation to teach these things: reserving judgement, having empathy with others, using kind and understanding words. Reflect on the situaiton and discuss what you would have done in his shoes - but not necessarily saying it is what he should have done (you can only control your own actions), use the situation to discuss drugs in general, talk about some of the great celebrities and athletes of our time and how pressure sometimes effects their lives, talk about how people cope with stress in general, talk about how people can learn from their mistakes and end up being a much better person. Talk about how he must be feeling right now after his humiliation in the media. There is much to learn from Michael Phelps, from his dedication and incredible athletic gifts, his achievements, and his personal decisions. The fact that he is great. The fact that he is human and thus fallible.

I'll bet you are a good parent. If more parents were this thoughtful and conscientious, what a world it would be!

 

[NoHall]

If one wants good role models for the kids he has no choice but to turn to fiction. I don't care who you are, even the most respected elder has flaws that need to be rejected. Teach kids to think rather than believe in some role model concept which is nothing more than a media fueled fairy tale that inevitably leads to media fueled outrage. This whole deal about how it affects "the children" is just a ploy adults use in an attempt to control behavior that they personally have a problem with. It's all about the welfare of "the children". Yeah right. It reminds me of when people get an autograph from a famous person and they claim it's for their kids.:roll: B.S.

I agree with your point to a certain degree, but doing so by lumping Phelps in with OJ and Vick doesn't make it very well. Besides marijuana is legal to smoke in many states and several countries. Pot didn't put these boys or their fathers where they are and if it was the only cause of their trouble, it was the stupid law that got them there, not the pot itself. Just my personal opinion.

Edit:
I've been thinking about your post and something really bothers me. Why does anyone need a hero to inspire them to do something with his/her life? Inspiration must come from within. "Winning" doesn't come by being lazy (and I think most habitual criminals...not recreational pot smokers... are just that). Most people must work very hard to get what they want. I think Phelps has had to work extremely hard to get where he is and what he has accomplished is certainly not "the easy thing". I don't think smoking a little pot lessens his integrity much at all. He is still and always be an inspiration to me and millions around the world regardless of what he does in his free time. Here's why I feel this way:

My mother was a drug addict and I had an absentee father. I lived well below the poverty line for most of my youth. I worked from the time I was 13 to help my family and to have the few posessions I treasured. When I was 18, I left my home in Kansas City and moved to Chicago and then Los Angeles to pursue a musical career. By the time I was 24, I had a recording contract with a major label. When I was 31, I earned a degree in electronics engineering. I did this by myself, for myself. I worked for decades in the recording industry with many famous people, and now I live in South Walton County near the worlds most beautiful beaches.

I made all of this happen by getting up every day, looking in the mirror, and telling myself never to look back. Keep moving forward and make something of yourself...and I worked my @$$ off every day to make it happen. Sure I had heros, but I never let them define what I wanted to do for myself.

We, as Americans, must stop blaming others for our own shortcomings. If we choose an action, we choose the consequences. It's that simple. Role models are a miniscule part of what should influence a person to live up to his/her potential. We must take responsibility for our own decisions. The more we can instill this in our young people, the less we will need alleged "heros" to inspire us to become what we should be able to become on our own. No more lame excuses.

I invite you to show this post to some of your boys and see what their reactions are.

PS
If you are looking for a good role model, I suggest you look into the stories of Wyclef Jean or Tim McGraw. I think your boys should be able to relate to one or the other.

Why do they need a hero? Have you ever told a kid, "Do as I say, not as I do?" It doesn't fly. They're teenaged boys. They want the fame and fortune that Phelps and other athletes/entertainers have. They're human. They want to take the easy road. Some of them have had some hard knocks already. The bar has been set pretty low.

When they see someone who has succeeded with integrity, they know that nice guys don't always finish last. When they see someone who has worked his tail off, beat the odds, and stayed out of trouble, they know that they can do it, too, and that maybe it will be worth it. Teaching them to "think for themselves" and to have personal responsibility has absolutely no meaning if you can't show them success stories. Sheesh--why would they buy into a system that they've never seen work?

As for lumping Phelps with Vick and O.J.--yes, that was a stretch. The boy apologized, and that also takes cajones. But I was disappointed after his DUI. I hoped that he would learn from that. Now I won't be surprised by anything he does. (And it hasn't escaped my notice that, like many of my boys, he grew up with an absent father. Sad situation--I'd love to see that cycle broken.)

My boys don't see the news during the week. If they see Phelps story over the weekend, what should I say to them? (What if I taught YOUR son?) "Hey, kiddo--work hard, be responsible, shoot for the stars, and smoke a little pot. It won't hurt you, and it should be legal anyway. It has absolutely no harmful consequences, and shouldn't get in the way of your ambitions in any way. While you're at it, get ****faced next weekend. I'm sure you can handle it, and it will be legal in a few years..."

 

[Teresa]

I'll bet you are a good parent. If more parents were this thoughtful and conscientious, what a world it would be!

oh come on. we're talking common sense here. you can teach, or you can preach or you can put your head in the sand. or you can just open up a little honest dialogue, and let the discussion flow. let the kid answer his own questions. believe me, kids are smart. they already know the answers. If kids get to talk about Michael Phelps and pot, they get to learn a little more about people and the world, and they get to answer questions about themselves in the process.

I've found that generally, the best teachers (parents and/or classroom teachers) allow children to answer their own questions (especially older children). the parent/teacher can direct the conversation and set a constructive/postive tone, help provide some facts, but children feel awesome when they have reached their own conclusions (they may not always be the best conclusions, but typically they are pretty on target. and who is to say they are wrong?). Teach the child to think. and be kind to others in the process (ie., try not to judge). and they will learn to love discovering many things about their world and themselves. because they discovered it themselves. we didn't do it for them.

 

[NoHall]

this post is beautiful. Phelps is quite humbled right now (I hear he's talking about not competing in next Olympics - but I hope he's just being a big ole baby and will get over it. apparently, his sponsors are very much behind him), but nothing can take away what he has achieved, and what he can still achieve in his life. He is still a great athlete and role model - at least we know he isn't perfect. I think I like him better than I did before. He seems a lot more real to me now.



I would like to add one thing about parents who complain about what they should say to their children when their big role model has fallen from grace. I can only say what I think and do with my child. Such as using the situation to teach these things: reserving judgement, having empathy with others, using kind and understanding words. Reflect on the situaiton and discuss what you would have done in his shoes - but not necessarily saying it is what he should have done (you can only control your own actions), use the situation to discuss drugs in general, talk about some of the great celebrities and athletes of our time and how pressure sometimes effects their lives, talk about how people cope with stress in general, talk about how people can learn from their mistakes and end up being a much better person. Talk about how he must be feeling right now after his humiliation in the media. There is much to learn from Michael Phelps, from his dedication and incredible athletic gifts, his achievements, and his personal decisions. The fact that he is great. The fact that he is human and thus fallible.

I totally agree with this, by the way. I just really liked Phelps, and am sorry that his personal choices have now become the "this is what NOT to do" example. But you're completely right about the opportunity for dialogue.

 

[Santiago]

I guess this explains Phelps eating 10,000 calories a day.

 

[Teresa]

I totally agree with this, by the way. I just really liked Phelps, and am sorry that his personal choices have now become the "this is what NOT to do" example. But you're completely right about the opportunity for dialogue.

I really liked Phelps too and still do. nothing has changed in my mind. He is still as awesome as he ever was. It is NOT the end of the world by any means. no doubt he's going to learn some important lessons.

 

[NoHall]

I really liked Phelps too and still do. nothing has changed in my mind. He is still as awesome as he ever was. It is NOT the end of the world by any means. no doubt he's going to learn some important lessons.

Not the end of the world, but he has narrowed his own opportunities. You know what a cockeyed optimist I am--I hate having to see him be embarrassed.

 

[Rudyjohn]

Not the end of the world, but he has narrowed his own opportunities. You know what a cockeyed optimist I am--I hate having to see him be embarrassed.

I keep thinking about his mom.