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Jdarg

SoWal Expert
Feb 15, 2005
18,039
1,984
Wow- a bonus day fro Friday Funnies! All are outstanding! :clap_1:
 

Sheila

SoWal Insider
dbuck said:
KD, you've gotten me into the action and I never tell jokes!

Sunday's sermon was---Forgive Your Enemies.

Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly Lady.

"Mrs. Jones?"; "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.

Oh Mrs. Jones, would you please come down front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

"I outlived the bit**es."

:lolabove:

Revenge really is sweet!
 

seagrovelover

little sugar
Jan 12, 2005
2,984
2
57
St Louis Missouri
wow everybody is funny today!!!! :clap_1: only had a minute to read some post, glad I picked this one!!!!! thanks for the laughs :rotfl:
 

seagrover

Beach Fanatic
Nov 16, 2004
802
28
Seagrove Beach, FL
Auburn - Alabama Joke time!!!!!!!

A Georgia graduate, an Auburn graduate and an Alabama graduate were sitting in a bar at the beach.

"The view is fantastic, the beer excellent and the food exceptional," said the Georgia graduate, "but I still prefer the bars in Athens. Why there's a bar there where the owner goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink for you."

"Well," said the Auburn graduate, "at my local bar, the bartender will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Alabama graduate. "Back home in Tuscaloosa, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you'd like. Then, when you've had enough drink, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid - ALL on the house!"

The Georgia graduate and the Auburn graduate immediately doubted the Alabama graduate's claims, but he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Georgia graduate, "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not myself personally, no," said the Alabama graduate, "but it did happen to my sister."
 

bsmart

brain
Aug 19, 2005
1,390
6
43
Atlanta, GA.
Today after watching TV, I was reminded of something that happened to my sister when she was in nursing school...a lady came into the ER with some injuries to a delicate area, sustained when she used a vacuum cleaner for something which it was not intended.
 
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