Just a Funny
- Thread starter Misty
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A husband and wife are sitting around, watching television, as the husband keeps switching between two channels. ”Why do you keeping switching back and forth?” she asks. “There’s golf and there’s porno on, and I can’t decide which one to watch.” he says. “Oh, for heaven sakes,” she says, “watch the porno… you already know how to play golf.”
“Lemon Pickers Needed” read the ad in the newspaper.
Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.
She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan , and a master’s degree from Michigan
State University.
For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.
The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume.
“However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said…
"I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”
Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.
She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan , and a master’s degree from Michigan
State University.
For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.
The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume.
“However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said…
"I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”
I picked up a hitch-hiker. Seemed like a nice guy.
After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid he might be a serial killer?
I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely.
I think he wet his pants.
After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid he might be a serial killer?
I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely.
I think he wet his pants.
Viagra
An elderly man was watching tv and saw a commercial for Viagra. He decided he'd go see his doctor right now and get some. His wife came into the bedroom as he was changing clothes and asked where he was going? He told her to see the doctor and get some of those Viagra pills. She said, "I'll go with you." He asked why and she said "if your going to stick that old rusty thing in me, I'll need a tetanus shot.
An elderly man was watching tv and saw a commercial for Viagra. He decided he'd go see his doctor right now and get some. His wife came into the bedroom as he was changing clothes and asked where he was going? He told her to see the doctor and get some of those Viagra pills. She said, "I'll go with you." He asked why and she said "if your going to stick that old rusty thing in me, I'll need a tetanus shot.
