The Crumbling of Rome
This story was gleaned from Greg's own recordings (with minimal poetic license)...
The Crumbling of Rome (is that in FRANCE?!)
For some crazy reason when I was in 7th grade I had to take Latin. I didn't know why I had to take Latin (still don't for that matter). Why did I need to learn Latin? The whole thing didn't make any sense to me... so I didn't pay attention.
Now back in those days we didn't have air-conditioning in the schools; so there I am sweating my a$$ off from the heat AND the misery of Latin. The teacher... well... he's up there
trying to teach Latin and I'm twirling the window rod trying to get us some air.
Long story short: Latin didn't love me.
Fine... the feeling's mutual... to hell with a buncha Latin.
To halt my ongoing efforts to introduce some fresh air through the stifling 'windows' of Latin:
I was permanently banished to The Library.
Needless to say, pointless to mention, and oblivious to observe:
I [FONT=&]F[/FONT][FONT=&]lunked[/FONT] Latin... with a CAPITAL RED 'F'.
Disgraced, I report to the Librarian. She was... well... a nice enough lady. A bit of a wet noodle; but not the stereotypical myopic, shushing-prune librarian of movies.
Anyway, I figured out right off that there was money to be made in the library business! People paid fines for overdue books! What a silver lining... literally!!
Not a lot of money... just nickel and dime stuff. But what the hell...
I pocketed the overdue library fines.
Besides 'collecting' overdue fines, my other job in the library was to return books back to the shelves. I was supposed to shelve the books according the Dewey decimal system. Dewey decimal system?? What the f*ck is a dewey decimal? Never met those kinda decimals in math class... was never told to wait to mow the grass until the sun burned the dewey decimals off the grass. I didn't know. I didn't care. I just wheeled that library cart round & round stashing books however and wherever the f*ck I felt like.
Empty cart? Check.
Books shelved? Check.
Dewey Decimal? If you say so
