Teen headed to SoWal any insight?

[Outta the box]

Although many of us have not met as of yet, we are looking forward to meeting everyone.

We are in a stoop, and would love to see if anyone has
"words of wisdom".

Our 17yr old son (will be 18 July) is starting to stress moving to SoWal. This all came very quickly and although at first he was as excited as we are, he is very confused.

We have not told him he MUST come with us, he could stay with his Father and Step-Mother. The REAL Issue at hand:

Mike is a great kid, he is finishing out his Jr. Year, and next is his Sr. year, and it's a big important year for kids, Prom, homecoming, Sr. night etc. AND..... He has a GF that he has been dating for almost 2 years.

He is NOT saying he doesn't want to go, infact his exact words: "Mom, I WANT to go....It's just this is my Sr. Year coming up and I don't want to Leave Kayla, It's gonna be hard".

I did explain to him I understood it's a tough year, and that he can have just as much fun in a new school as he does / did here. but...Then there is Kayla. He is wanting to go to College, and get his degree, he understands (I think) that he can not make life decisions that will affect him long term at his age right now based on a GF.

He continues to say, "I WANT to go!! I'm just scared". I did tell him it was normal and ok to be scared, that Change can be uncomfortable to anyone, that both Myself and Dad are scared to, but are very excited at the same time. I explained we are there for him as well as his Aunt Deb and I still don't think it's making him feel any better to hear it.

Anyone been through this OR have insight?

 

[Jdarg]

My biggest concern would be the education disruption. I am sure he has his classes scheduled out for graduation and he does well at his current high school. Would the disruption in his life and the angst of going to a new school affect his grades? Since he only has one more year, I would be inclined to let him finish out there, and you all are fortunate that he does have the option of staying behind.

I know kids move all of the time in high school- sometimes it can't be helped, and families just adapt and make it work.

 

[Smiling JOe]

Sounds very normal. Thank goodness for email, cell phones, and myspace.com, all of which will enable him to stay in touch with said girlfriend. The way I see it, at the end of his senior year, he would be leaving her then, unless they do as some highschool couples do, and go to the same college. Your move just makes that separation come a year earlier.

 

[Diane4145]

I tend to feel that he should stay and finish high school, with his father. There should be many ways to put him in touch with peers, in the SOWAL area. That way, he can get to know them in some capacity, even from a far, to decide if he wants to move to the area. Having had two sons, the most important thing should be stability, to finish his senior year. He may feel that he'll be disappointing you, if he doesn't go. Reassure, reassure..... Good luck!

 

[JUL]

I tend to feel that he should stay and finish high school, with his father. There should be many ways to put him in touch with peers, in the SOWAL area. That way, he can get to know them in some capacity, even from a far, to decide if he wants to move to the area. Having had two sons, the most important thing should be stability, to finish his senior year. He may feel that he'll be disappointing you, if he doesn't go. Reassure, reassure..... Good luck!

I agree as long as he has a good relationship with them...I'm sure you will see a lot of him and his friends over the spring and summer....maybe even Christmas Break

 

[scooterbug44]

I vote that he finishes his last year of high school, then moves.

My biggest concern is the disruption to his education, especially since he is planning to attend college. It's a big enough pain dealing w/ all the transcripts, test scores, teacher recommendations, college applications etc. when you're at the same school and it could be an issue if he transfers and doesn't have the correct credits/classes completed. He will also be at a disadvantage for local scholarships.

You didn't mention if he is involved in sports or other extra curriculars, but if he is, he'll be basically starting all over in his senior year when the coaches already have their rosters and favorites.

It's always hard switching schools, but in this case (based on the limited info) it sounds like the best solution is for him to stay for his last year.

Don't factor the girlfriend into the decision, as if he goes away to college I doubt it will last past fall break or the thanksgiving holiday. Way too young to be planning his life decisions on a girl IMO.

 

[Beach House 25]

I vote that he finishes his last year of high school, then moves.

My biggest concern is the disruption to his education, especially since he is planning to attend college. It's a big enough pain dealing w/ all the transcripts, test scores, teacher recommendations, college applications etc. when you're at the same school and it could be an issue if he transfers and doesn't have the correct credits/classes completed. He will also be at a disadvantage for local scholarships.

You didn't mention if he is involved in sports or other extra curriculars, but if he is, he'll be basically starting all over in his senior year when the coaches already have their rosters and favorites.

It's always hard switching schools, but in this case (based on the limited info) it sounds like the best solution is for him to stay for his last year.

Don't factor the girlfriend into the decision, as if he goes away to college I doubt it will last past fall break or the thanksgiving holiday. Way too young to be planning his life decisions on a girl IMO.

IMO this is Excellent advice.....

 

[Rudyjohn]

I have a 17 y.o. son and I vote with the others here too. This must be so hard. At least he's talking to you about how he feels about this.

Good luck.

 

[Outta the box]

Thank you all so much for your input! He is a Jr. this year, June class will end. He will start school for his Sr. year next Aug.

We spoke alot today about it as we were on the road and had plenty of time. We have assured him we could find someone here in town for him to stay with and finish school in this county, or he can go to Dad & Step Mom's (would be a different school though) or he can come with us.....We did tell him No harm no foul.... Do What YOU want, he will be 18 in July and he knows we are fine with what ever he wants to do. He insists he WANTS to go to SoWal he has always wanted to be close to the water, is is a Beach boy at heart. It's just the "Change, I just don't like change" he said. Autum Moon explained, we are all scared, and change is always scary, and we wouldn't even consider it, if it was not the wise choice.

The Girl is NOT a factor for us, as we agree with everyone on that issue, their to young. It just adds to the confusion. We will continue to talk,
we believe we have sold our place last night! YEA!!!! Took 2 weeks!!!!!!!

So, We may talk with someone about him going to school here and staying with a friend........ We agree it would be better for him to complete at this school. BUT some kids will actually do better the first year in a new school as they do not have all the "Friends" to distract, so they tend to focus on Acidemics better. THAT would be a good thing....but sports can be an issue as well, he is eligible for Scolarships for Soccer OR cheerleading, and we have been told he will have a better chance at a better school using the cheerleading going to So. Walton, we are not sure he would have the opportunities being a new student, he has been a starter for all three years with Soccer and have cheered for the last three years at this school as well. These are tough calls, he Really wants the change to SoWal, but definatly is as scared as we are with it.

Will keep everyone posted! We really are all looking forward to being there, just want to make things best for Mike in the end. We were never faced with these decisions with the other 5!

 

[NoHall]

Thank you all so much for your input! He is a Jr. this year, June class will end. He will start school for his Sr. year next Aug.

We spoke alot today about it as we were on the road and had plenty of time. We have assured him we could find someone here in town for him to stay with and finish school in this county, or he can go to Dad & Step Mom's (would be a different school though) or he can come with us.....We did tell him No harm no foul.... Do What YOU want, he will be 18 in July and he knows we are fine with what ever he wants to do. He insists he WANTS to go to SoWal he has always wanted to be close to the water, is is a Beach boy at heart. It's just the "Change, I just don't like change" he said. Autum Moon explained, we are all scared, and change is always scary, and we wouldn't even consider it, if it was not the wise choice.

The Girl is NOT a factor for us, as we agree with everyone on that issue, their to young. It just adds to the confusion. We will continue to talk,
we believe we have sold our place last night! YEA!!!! Took 2 weeks!!!!!!!

So, We may talk with someone about him going to school here and staying with a friend........ We agree it would be better for him to complete at this school. BUT some kids will actually do better the first year in a new school as they do not have all the "Friends" to distract, so they tend to focus on Acidemics better. THAT would be a good thing....but sports can be an issue as well, he is eligible for Scolarships for Soccer OR cheerleading, and we have been told he will have a better chance at a better school using the cheerleading going to So. Walton, we are not sure he would have the opportunities being a new student, he has been a starter for all three years with Soccer and have cheered for the last three years at this school as well. These are tough calls, he Really wants the change to SoWal, but definatly is as scared as we are with it.

Will keep everyone posted! We really are all looking forward to being there, just want to make things best for Mike in the end. We were never faced with these decisions with the other 5!

I changed schools my senior year in high school, and it was the best thing I ever did. Of course, it was within my hometown and I already knew people. But still...