Baby to be!

[Beach Runner]

I am so sorry, Laddydebubba. I can totally relate.

I had been told at UF, Duke, and Medical College of GA that it was impossible for me to get pregnant. Then after years of marriage, I miraculously got pregnant, but went into premature labor and was hospitalized for two months on bedrest. We had a beautiful baby girl who is now at GT and whom I absolutely adore.

Miraculously again 4 years later I got pregnant, but lost it at about 6 weeks and had to have a D&C. Then 4 months after that, I got pregnant again. I went in for frequent checkups, and the baby's heartbeat was fine. At 3 months we thought we were home free. But when we went in for the ultrasound, the baby's heart had stopped beating. I started screaming bloody murder. I'm sure that you could hear me all over the Northside Hospital Doctor's Building. My husband and I were simply devastated. I was so upset that I had to stay out of work for a while. People would say things like, "Oh, it was meant to be" and "You'll have another one." Do you think that helped? Hell, no. I was sad that I had lost two babies, and everyone was telling me all of that insensitive stuff.

We spent a fortune trying to have another baby, but with no success. Thank God for our wonderful daughter.

The good news for your daughter-in-law is that she is probably in her 20's and I was 40. She'll never get over the pain of losing this baby, but maybe the hope for the future will help to ease the pain in time -- it'll take a while.

I will pray for you all in this time of great despair, disappointment, and loss.

 

[Teresa]

LadyD: I'm very sorry about the news. we've experienced this too. it's never easy. be patient with DIL and hope she will soon be able to look forward to another pregnancy. meanwhile, you all take good care...

 

[DD]

So sorry, LadyD. You and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[Lady D]

I am so sorry, Laddydebubba. I can totally relate.

I had been told at UF, Duke, and Medical College of GA that it was impossible for me to get pregnant. Then after years of marriage, I miraculously got pregnant, but went into premature labor and was hospitalized for two months on bedrest. We had a beautiful baby girl who is now at GT and whom I absolutely adore.

Miraculously again 4 years later I got pregnant, but lost it at about 6 weeks and had to have a D&C. Then 4 months after that, I got pregnant again. I went in for frequent checkups, and the baby's heartbeat was fine. At 3 months we thought we were home free. But when we went in for the ultrasound, the baby's heart had stopped beating. I started screaming bloody murder. I'm sure that you could hear me all over the Northside Hospital Doctor's Building. My husband and I were simply devastated. I was so upset that I had to stay out of work for a while. People would say things like, "Oh, it was meant to be" and "You'll have another one." Do you think that helped? Hell, no. I was sad that I had lost two babies, and everyone was telling me all of that insensitive stuff.

We spent a fortune trying to have another baby, but with no success. Thank God for our wonderful daughter.

The good news for your daughter-in-law is that she is probably in her 20's and I was 40. She'll never get over the pain of losing this baby, but maybe the hope for the future will help to ease the pain in time -- it'll take a while.

I will pray for you all in this time of great despair, disappointment, and loss.

Thanks everyone, she turns 21 on September 27th! I know this may sound horrible, but I had a bad feeling for a while now something might go wrong! I was hoping it was just a bad feeling! She has been doubled over with her gallbladder! She does have many more years! And I realize she wasn't far along but it was a baby just the same! I am totally devastated as they are! She did have problems with ovarian cysts but they had finally ruptured, which the cysts could have been a factor. And the doctor told them there were many reasons for that occurring, one of which was the possibility of a chromosome missing! That is usually a big factor in a miscarriage during the early months unfortunately!

 

[ktmeadows]

I'm so sorry ladydebubba; suffering a miscarriage is a devestating event. My niece had that same thing happen a couple of years ago. They were so hurt and devestated. It took them about about 7 months to get pregnant again, but they're now the parents of a beautiful baby girl. They continually say how she's truly a gift from God. But they still remember the "first". Time will help heal the hurt, and I think your daughter-in-law will feel differently about trying again. In the meantime, you are all in my prayers. I'm sure it also helps to hear from other such as BR who have gone through similar experiences and survived. I imagine you'll all be hearing some of those "insensitive" comments, but try to remember that they're not meant to be hurtful. I think often people just don't know what to say, so in order to say something they blurt out comments that sound cruel even though that is not the intent.

Take care.

 

[InletBchDweller]

My thoughts are with you and your family.
DIL will change her mind and try again I am sure. I too am living proof that it can happen. I have been through the same thing before Olivia and then after I thought all could be done, viola I was pregnant. God works in mysterious ways and I have to believe that everything is done for a reason.

 

[seagrovelover]

Oh Lady D I am so sorry to hear this......my daughter in law had three miscarriages before giving birth to Madeline..........don't give up hope, things may look pretty bleak right now but there is always a tomorrow my heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[Lady D]

They are going back to the Ob/Gyn tomorrow for the D & C! My son said he saw no movement and no heart beating on the ultrasound screen, but from things I have been reading, heartbeats are not heard until a certain period of time has gone by! A woman I worked with said they didn't detect the heartbeat of her son until past the 7th week. A doppler instrument they use cannot detect a heartbeat until the 9th week. I told him to have them make absolutely sure there is no heartbeat again before they do this procedure. I would be even more devastated if this was performed and the baby had been alive. I am grasping at straws I guess! Just cannot stand the thought of what is about to transpire tomorrow!

 

[ktmeadows]

They are going back to the Ob/Gyn tomorrow for the D & C! My son said he saw no movement and no heart beating on the ultrasound screen, but from things I have been reading, heartbeats are not heard until a certain period of time has gone by! A woman I worked with said they didn't detect the heartbeat of her son until past the 7th week. A doppler instrument they use cannot detect a heartbeat until the 9th week. I told him to have them make absolutely sure there is no heartbeat again before they do this procedure. I would be even more devastated if this was performed and the baby had been alive. I am grasping at straws I guess! Just cannot stand the thought of what is about to transpire tomorrow!

I would imagine they've done the HCG hormone level test though which detects pregnancy. I think those levels drop dramatically in the case of a miscarriage - they did in my neice's case. They surely wouldn't do a D&C until they were positive of a miscarriage.

 

[Lady D]

I would imagine they've done the HCG hormone level test though which detects pregnancy. I think those levels drop dramatically in the case of a miscarriage - they did in my neice's case. They surely wouldn't do a D&C until they were positive of a miscarriage.

How does a ultrasound allow you to hear a heartbeat anyway? I thought that was only for a visual image! Not hearing a heartbeat! But they did find blood upon the internal ultrasound or scan! I may try to ask my son later about that!