maybe at 14.......but if my parents had started rummaging through my things when i was 18..that would have been the end of my trust in them...sure its YOUR cell phone...but you let THEM use it.......take away their text messaging or phone service if they abuse your rules, but don't create an issue of trust by snooping around like they've just committed a felony
give the kids a break...already have to deal with so much nowadays...harder tests.....harder to get into colleges....and every other thing that past generations had to deal with........the world is getting tougher and tougher.......let em breathe
that's just my young-minded .02
i know what you're saying 14 is a long way from 18. but, the phone gives people MORE access to your kids they wouldn't otherwise have. you know that for young people in relationships the constant texting to ask where someone is and who they're with is often the first indicator of an abusive relationship, the possessiveness of having to know where their girlfriend/boyfriend is at all times, so it's worth checking IF there are other signs even if they are older. sometimes it's not about trust, but about knowledge and guidance.
you know i like my research, so here you go:
(CBS) Teenage love can be exciting. But sometimes it can be more than puppy love and turn dangerous. A new article in Family Circle magazine tells parents some of the signs to look for in an unhealthy teen relationship, which may be more common than many people think.
The magazine found that 25 percent of teens are harassed or put down by a partner via their cell phone through verbal conversations or texting. The magazine also found that 71 percent of teens say their boyfriend or girlfriend spread negative rumors about them and 75 percent of parents didn't know their teens were physically hurt or bruised by a partner.
Anya Alvarez, 18, says that at 15 she was abused by two different boyfriends. She said the first relationship lasted only a month, but the emotional abuse began after two weeks. She wasn't allowed to go out with her friends or do the things she loved. He also started putting sexual pressure on her. Anya then entered into a second relationship ? which also lasted a month ? and the exact same thing happened. She never talked to her mother about it.
"She had no idea," Anya told
The Early Show co-anchor Hannah Storm. I didn't tell her about the sexual abuse, how they tried to control me. I didn't see it as a problem. I thought, it happened, I'll get over it and move on. I didn't realize how it would affect relationships I had later."
Betty S. Wong, executive editor of Family Circle, said when teens enter into their first relationship, they don't know what is appropriate. Things like wanting to be with the other person at all times and jealously can easily be mistaken for love.
"Love really is blind in your first relationship," she said.
Wong said parents should pay attention to changes in their teen's behavior. If she changes the way she dresses, stops participating in family activities or her grades fall, it could be a sign that a boyfriend or partner is being controlling. Another big sign is cell phone or computer use.
"Technology creates accessibility," Wong said. "With cell phones and computers, kids are never out of touch anymore."
Wong said if parents find out their child is in an abusive relationship, they should control phone use to minimize further contact. Parents should also reach out to the school, and perhaps have the child's locker moved or pick her up earlier.
"Also," she said, "just be supportive."
If you are a teen in need of help or are a parent who suspects your child is in an abusive relationship, seek help here:
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (NTDAH)
866-331-9474
Loveisrespect.org
Choose Respect
Chooserespect.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233,
ndvh.org
Break the Cycle
888-988-8336
breakthecycle.org
Legal advice, support, online communities and education for abused teens
Love Is Not Abuse
Loveisnotabuse.com
! You have officially joined the parent club. 
